It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People
May 28, 2026 · 33 min · 10 segments
Fear of retaliation keeps many people trapped in high conflict relationships long after they know they need to leave. Emotional explosions, smear campaigns, threats involving children, financial…
Megan HunterHost
So it's, it's an interesting life lived and, and a lot of, I'm sure, pain and sadness and, you know, not every case is this extreme, right, where it ends up in, in, in prison and, and a loss of life.
But there are a lot of people who are afraid to leave a high-conflict relationship because they, they've heard this person talk about, you know, vengeful thing they've-- things they've done in the past or what they would like to do to exact revenge on people.
And so it can become a fearful thing to re- to leave a high-conflict relationship.
So even beyond, um, hearing about past events that this person's done, why else are-- you know, what other reasons are people afraid to leave a high-conflict relationship?
I mean, the financial and, and the house the kids have lived in all their lives, and, uh, maybe they're getting ready to finish high school in a couple years, and people feel like, "Should I really rock the boat, or can I wait until they're out of high school?" But I think the psychological, emotional stuff, if you're dealing with a high-conflict partner, is the fear of, uh, their rageUh, fear of their sadness, fear that they won't be able to cope, they won't be able to live without me kind of feeling.
And that really confuses people because you think marriage to be something that you're both wanting to be in, and if one of you doesn't want to be in it, it's not really a marriage anymore, a marriage of agreement.
But I think the, the fear of the other person's emotional reaction is probably the biggest thing, that they'll either m- maybe risk being harmful to you or harmful to themselves.
I'll tell them that you do everything wrong." And that's a threat that keeps a lot of people stuck.
Especially, I think, women in domestic violence situations, uh, their partners often threaten to, uh, take the kids away from them and say they're a bad parent, and nobody's perfect, so, you know, but, but that's terrible.
It can happen in families, in business partnerships, and a lot of different relationships.
Uh, and there can be many different avenues [chuckles] of retaliation, and I think it, it keeps people in such a grip of fear.
But most importantly, like you said, affecting your, your children is the, probably the hardest thing of all.
So it's, it's an interesting life lived and, and a lot of, I'm sure, pain and sadness and, you know, not every case is this extreme, right, where it ends up in, in, in prison and, and a loss of life.
But there are a lot of people who are afraid to leave a high-conflict relationship because they, they've heard this person talk about, you know, vengeful thing they've-- things they've done in the past or what they would like to do to exact revenge on people.
And so it can become a fearful thing to re- to leave a high-conflict relationship.
So even beyond, um, hearing about past events that this person's done, why else are-- you know, what other reasons are people afraid to leave a high-conflict relationship?
I mean, the financial and, and the house the kids have lived in all their lives, and, uh, maybe they're getting ready to finish high school in a couple years, and people feel like, "Should I really rock the boat, or can I wait until they're out of high school?" But I think the psychological, emotional stuff, if you're dealing with a high-conflict partner, is the fear of, uh, their rageUh, fear of their sadness, fear that they won't be able to cope, they won't be able to live without me kind of feeling.
And that really confuses people because you think marriage to be something that you're both wanting to be in, and if one of you doesn't want to be in it, it's not really a marriage anymore, a marriage of agreement.
But I think the, the fear of the other person's emotional reaction is probably the biggest thing, that they'll either m- maybe risk being harmful to you or harmful to themselves.
I'll tell them that you do everything wrong." And that's a threat that keeps a lot of people stuck.
Especially, I think, women in domestic violence situations, uh, their partners often threaten to, uh, take the kids away from them and say they're a bad parent, and nobody's perfect, so, you know, but, but that's terrible.
It can happen in families, in business partnerships, and a lot of different relationships.
Uh, and there can be many different avenues [chuckles] of retaliation, and I think it, it keeps people in such a grip of fear.
But most importantly, like you said, affecting your, your children is the, probably the hardest thing of all.
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