Atheists, Here's How to Treat Joe Schmid After He Reverted to Catholicism.

Commandment number one: We shall always keep someone at the center of their story.

We shall not view their life decisions in terms of wins or losses for social movements.

I spent years as a culture warrior for my traditional Catholicism.

Everyone in my public high school knew me as the super conservative Catholic guy who would talk to anyone, anywhere, anytime about Catholicism.

And my friends in high school youth group and college saw me as the zealous guy who wasn't afraid to stand for my beliefs, and I organized my groups to help fight for causes that we believed in.

When I made my public announcement that I was no longer Catholic, I know many people who immediately ignored me in the center of my story in favor of making my story about them or their group movement.

I felt betrayed.

The group that told me they cared about me so much and where I met so many of my closest friends never actually cared about me as soon as I was no longer useful to their political or religious projects.

Did they ever care about me or just the role or the cog in the machine that I could serve for their cultural endeavor? I worry that both Catholics saying that Joe's reversion is a win for Catholicism, as well as atheists saying Joe's reversion is a loss for secularism, are more concerned about what Joe's story does for them rather than Joe qua Joe, which part of my philosophy joke here.

The terms we use in speech are important because they frame the terms that we think in.

I think language around, "I'm so happy for Joe," or, "I hope that Joe is okay," is something that will keep everyone grounded in Joe as a person rather than, "Joe's story is going to be useful for my religious endeavor," or, "Joe's story will be weaponized against my group to make us lose cultural steam in our political fight." I hope that people can welcome Joe into their groups because they love Joe as Joe, rather than perform a ceremony of welcoming Joe because he has an online platform that they can utilize to win culture war points.

I want you to watch messages this week around if people are happy that Joe converted, or they're happy that Joe is happy because he converted.

Commandment number two: We shall remember that the most real version of someone is the one they are now.

We shall not resuscitate the version of someone we simply liked or were used to.

I remember the night I came out on Instagram to my family and friends.

I had just ran a hundred mile ultramarathon and was so incredibly nervous for how people would react.

Family, friends, mentors, coworkers, teachers, spiritual leaders, and more only knew me for part of my life's journey.

For some, a few times in passing over the course of a few months, and for others, a few times a week as a friend for years.

I thought that the worst reactions would be people cutting me off, but I was wrong.

Some four years since I came out, I continually feel the most disrespected when people refuse to let go of who they knew me as, or worse, tell me that I must be twenty-four seven the version that they knew me as for only a few hours a month.

I've woken up every day for my twenty-four years in my body, and I'm the only one who will ever know the full picture of what it's like to be me.

And technically, we all only ever know a version or parts of what someone else is like.

I don't think it's bad to remember who we knew someone as or be concerned if someone changes unrecognizably, especially all of a sudden, but the only real version of someone is the one that they are now.

As an atheist YouTuber, I refuse to be seen only in terms of my work online.

Similarly, I desperately hope that people who enjoyed Joe as an agnostic YouTuber who they watched on their screens can let that version of Joe move on.