24. Commitment is a portal, not a fence

Think about the love songs that exist.

There's probably thousands and thousands of songs about love.

And what are most of them saying? Love is pain.

Love is war.

Love is a battlefield.

These are the types of things that a lot of our popular media tell us about romantic relationships.

You know, there's suffering.

There's heartbreak, there's betrayal, there's ups, there's downs.

It's very dramatic and passionate and at times violent.

I remember I was at an event a few months ago and I was talking to someone about relationships.

You know, I told him what I did.

So he immediately was like, oh, I need your help.

So I was like, okay, what's going on in your life? And he said, well, I just got married.

And I said, congratulations, that's great.

And then his face got super, super serious.

And he said, you know, marriage is the hardest thing that anyone will ever go through in life.

And it is the most difficult thing that anyone will ever experienced.

And I just stared at him.

So I think what he's describing here is a very common sentiment that's very popularized in many forms.

I spoke about music, of course, but this is also something that is very prevalent in a lot of religious contexts.

And I know for this person specifically, he told me he had a lot of conservative values.

So I'm going to assume he's religious in some way or another.

And they'll tell you that.

And I think for some folks, this is a point of pride.

And there's also value in suffering.