Mar 18, 2026 · 49 min · 10 segments
What if the stress you have been trying to eliminate is actually the most important signal your body is sending you? In this episode of Highest You, Kate King speaks with Alice Law, stress mastery…
And interesting, kind of bringing it back into the corporate context, which is what I talk about.
But it's, which I'll explain why I think that in a second but I think it's the emotional side of work first of all was equated with it was like okay we've been taught how to think and not how to feel you go out you do you think that will get you success and then emotions were seen as something that could be because people didn't know how to process them or even control them it's like oh they're overly emotional and that's that's not acceptable okay so which obviously we don't want people screaming in an office or you know breaking down in those moments but The other side of emotions, that emotional intelligence, which obviously a lot of companies are now starting to realize the benefit of, is that the greatest leaders in the world are the most emotionally intelligent who can read everyone in a room and then be able to actually navigate how to manage those people, whether it's a client or whether it's your team.
Now those skills are going to be greater than ever because, you know, if we outsource intelligence to something more intelligent than us, the only thing that won't be able to replicate is intuitive and emotional intelligence.
And I think, you know, there's potentially something gendered here because, you know, the emotional side and intuition, all of those things have traditionally been more associated with women than men.
And I wonder, you know, whether men have sort of steered away from, you know, being seen to be emotional at work.
And I really like your reframing of what that does for you because, you know, actually being able to navigate emotions and read people gives you a range of emotions that that is really helpful when you know leadership essentially is about how you deal with people yes people are full of emotions and so if you can't read emotions if you can't manage your own emotions if you can't navigate those sorts of things with a bit of skill and intuition 100% it's like
that's that phrase of you know I always say to people it's like you can get into disagreements with, say, your partner or someone at work, and then they'll come home and they'll say, well, they don't understand how I feel.
I'm like, well, maybe, but do you understand how you feel? Is what you're saying actually what you're feeling? Are you attaching the right word to the right feeling? And it's just, again, it's like relearning that as a skill, as your own language that's an intelligence, really.
So let's talk about regulated resilience, something I think you talk about in your work.
What does a regulated leader look like in practice? And how does that state impact the people around them, the team, the organization?
Yeah, so I call it regulated resilience because I truly believe that, well, first of all, being in a regulated state allows you to go from high stress to calm in an effortless flow rather than getting stuck when we're unregulated we can get stuck in a state of stress we can find it very hard to essentially shift gear and go back into calm whether that's emotionally or mentally physically um and so regulated resilience as i call it because i think the old you know the old term of resilience is so outdated now that push through toughen up keep going until that's how we saw it as this overly masculine sense of like that's what it means to be resilient and That eventually causes a breakdown in the end.
That's when people are having, you know, burnout later, or that's when they're having a breakdown years and years later.
So that resilience side, I think is finally moving away to the fact that that's not true resilience.
For me, true resilience, which is that kind of regulated resilience is being able to know, okay, when to push, when to pause.
when to regulate when to kind of basically be very very agile and flexible with your own system and move in and out of stress back to calm as and when you need for performance versus you know um burning out and so yeah that being a regulated leader is oh god it just it has such an effect because it's you know we know now from studies stress is contagious but You can feel it anyway energetically, right? If you go into a room at work, if you go into a meeting or if you go home and your partner's stressed, people will feel on edge.
It's the same way if you've been on a phone call even with someone and they were really like, ah, you've come off the call being like, oh my God.
And interesting, kind of bringing it back into the corporate context, which is what I talk about.
But it's, which I'll explain why I think that in a second but I think it's the emotional side of work first of all was equated with it was like okay we've been taught how to think and not how to feel you go out you do you think that will get you success and then emotions were seen as something that could be because people didn't know how to process them or even control them it's like oh they're overly emotional and that's that's not acceptable okay so which obviously we don't want people screaming in an office or you know breaking down in those moments but The other side of emotions, that emotional intelligence, which obviously a lot of companies are now starting to realize the benefit of, is that the greatest leaders in the world are the most emotionally intelligent who can read everyone in a room and then be able to actually navigate how to manage those people, whether it's a client or whether it's your team.
Now those skills are going to be greater than ever because, you know, if we outsource intelligence to something more intelligent than us, the only thing that won't be able to replicate is intuitive and emotional intelligence.
And I think, you know, there's potentially something gendered here because, you know, the emotional side and intuition, all of those things have traditionally been more associated with women than men.
And I wonder, you know, whether men have sort of steered away from, you know, being seen to be emotional at work.
And I really like your reframing of what that does for you because, you know, actually being able to navigate emotions and read people gives you a range of emotions that that is really helpful when you know leadership essentially is about how you deal with people yes people are full of emotions and so if you can't read emotions if you can't manage your own emotions if you can't navigate those sorts of things with a bit of skill and intuition 100% it's like
that's that phrase of you know I always say to people it's like you can get into disagreements with, say, your partner or someone at work, and then they'll come home and they'll say, well, they don't understand how I feel.
I'm like, well, maybe, but do you understand how you feel? Is what you're saying actually what you're feeling? Are you attaching the right word to the right feeling? And it's just, again, it's like relearning that as a skill, as your own language that's an intelligence, really.
So let's talk about regulated resilience, something I think you talk about in your work.
What does a regulated leader look like in practice? And how does that state impact the people around them, the team, the organization?
Yeah, so I call it regulated resilience because I truly believe that, well, first of all, being in a regulated state allows you to go from high stress to calm in an effortless flow rather than getting stuck when we're unregulated we can get stuck in a state of stress we can find it very hard to essentially shift gear and go back into calm whether that's emotionally or mentally physically um and so regulated resilience as i call it because i think the old you know the old term of resilience is so outdated now that push through toughen up keep going until that's how we saw it as this overly masculine sense of like that's what it means to be resilient and That eventually causes a breakdown in the end.
That's when people are having, you know, burnout later, or that's when they're having a breakdown years and years later.
So that resilience side, I think is finally moving away to the fact that that's not true resilience.
For me, true resilience, which is that kind of regulated resilience is being able to know, okay, when to push, when to pause.
when to regulate when to kind of basically be very very agile and flexible with your own system and move in and out of stress back to calm as and when you need for performance versus you know um burning out and so yeah that being a regulated leader is oh god it just it has such an effect because it's you know we know now from studies stress is contagious but You can feel it anyway energetically, right? If you go into a room at work, if you go into a meeting or if you go home and your partner's stressed, people will feel on edge.
It's the same way if you've been on a phone call even with someone and they were really like, ah, you've come off the call being like, oh my God.
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