Oct 11, 2026 · 38 min · 9 segments
In this episode, Katherine dissects the teachings from her childhood and teenage years that created guilt and shame around her body and clothing choices. She discusses modesty culture's ridiculous…
Katherine EadieHost
Different churches might have slightly different interpretations of what that means.
Often it'll be something like being covered from collarbone to knee or something like that.
But the definition of modesty that I was taught really does go a lot deeper than that.
The way that it was described to me is that the clothing that you wear is an outward expression of your inward heart for God.
And that if you're walking with the Lord the way that you should, He's going to give you this attitude of modesty and humility that will express itself in the way that you dress.
Now in my church, the outward modesty, the way that you dress, was certainly the part that was emphasized the most.
But even if you got to a level of modesty in your clothing that no one could really criticize, it was still never enough.
Because you were always questioned, whether through sermons or Sunday school lessons or mentorship, you were always being questioned about, is this outward modesty just surface level? Does it really go all the way to your heart? It's another area where, as a young Christian woman, it felt like I was never enough.
I never had enough modesty in the way that I dressed, but also in the way that I thought, in the way that I acted, in the way that I spoke.
And once you got past the surface-level teachings of... cover up your body in modesty, the teachings would start to get deeper into, well, are you still dressing in a way that shows you have a desire to be noticed? It's this impossibly fine line where you're expected to dress your best for church and dress in a way that's beautiful and feminine, but not in a way that draws attention to yourself.
There was this common phrase that I grew up with that said that the clothing women wear should be tight enough to look like a woman, but loose enough to look like a lady.
So it's this constant balancing act of trying to make sure that you're dressing modestly, but that you're not doing it in a way that you're trying to draw attention to yourself.
And it's ironic to me now that a lot of fundie Christians dress in a way that very much draws attention to themselves because it's so extreme with always wearing long skirts or baggy shirts.
I know that when I was a fundie Christian, the way that I dressed definitely drew attention to myself because it was so vastly different than the way the majority of other girls my age were dressing.
the outward appearance all the way into your inner self and the way that you think and act and talk, and whether or not you have a desire to be noticed.
We are going to be focusing on external modesty today, the expectations and rules around what girls and women wore in my church growing up.
And there was some language around modesty, a few really common phrases that came up a lot in these conversations that are really interesting when you dive into what they mean.
Different churches might have slightly different interpretations of what that means.
Often it'll be something like being covered from collarbone to knee or something like that.
But the definition of modesty that I was taught really does go a lot deeper than that.
The way that it was described to me is that the clothing that you wear is an outward expression of your inward heart for God.
And that if you're walking with the Lord the way that you should, He's going to give you this attitude of modesty and humility that will express itself in the way that you dress.
Now in my church, the outward modesty, the way that you dress, was certainly the part that was emphasized the most.
But even if you got to a level of modesty in your clothing that no one could really criticize, it was still never enough.
Because you were always questioned, whether through sermons or Sunday school lessons or mentorship, you were always being questioned about, is this outward modesty just surface level? Does it really go all the way to your heart? It's another area where, as a young Christian woman, it felt like I was never enough.
I never had enough modesty in the way that I dressed, but also in the way that I thought, in the way that I acted, in the way that I spoke.
And once you got past the surface-level teachings of... cover up your body in modesty, the teachings would start to get deeper into, well, are you still dressing in a way that shows you have a desire to be noticed? It's this impossibly fine line where you're expected to dress your best for church and dress in a way that's beautiful and feminine, but not in a way that draws attention to yourself.
There was this common phrase that I grew up with that said that the clothing women wear should be tight enough to look like a woman, but loose enough to look like a lady.
So it's this constant balancing act of trying to make sure that you're dressing modestly, but that you're not doing it in a way that you're trying to draw attention to yourself.
And it's ironic to me now that a lot of fundie Christians dress in a way that very much draws attention to themselves because it's so extreme with always wearing long skirts or baggy shirts.
I know that when I was a fundie Christian, the way that I dressed definitely drew attention to myself because it was so vastly different than the way the majority of other girls my age were dressing.
the outward appearance all the way into your inner self and the way that you think and act and talk, and whether or not you have a desire to be noticed.
We are going to be focusing on external modesty today, the expectations and rules around what girls and women wore in my church growing up.
And there was some language around modesty, a few really common phrases that came up a lot in these conversations that are really interesting when you dive into what they mean.
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