Why Are We Always Fighting?

And I, do you want to start or should I start?

You can start.

Okay.

So for the last, I would say month and a half, almost two months, I have felt like we have been distant from one another.

And that is very concerning to me because with you, you are able to manage how distant you feel from me in a different way than I'm able to accept how you manage it.

And I manage it different as well.

And so like my biggest fear and concern in our relationship is, is that sometimes I'm the, I am, I'm really the only person that notices when things are kind of like falling off the rails or when our romance is in a lull or when our communication is in, when we're in a dry spell, like sexually as it pertains to communication, all these different things.

And sometimes it does put a lot of pressure on me to bring these issues up to you because I don't want to appear as though I'm always complaining about something, you know, either it's, we're not communicating or we haven't gone on a date or I feel like we're not, um, emotionally, intimately and intentionally connected, or maybe like we're not having as much sex as I think that we should be having.

And so sometimes when I bring up whatever these issues are in our relationship, um, I end up feeling bad and feeling nervous to bring things up to you because I don't want you to feel like there's always a problem.

And, you know, in the beginning of our relationship, I will say I can be totally honest that I made a lot of things that weren't really a problem a problem.

So.

Now, I get nervous that you will feel attacked when there actually is something that I want to talk about.

A lot of the issues that we had in the beginning of our relationship, I'm glad that I brought those things up because I think it has helped us on our path towards communication.

But also...

I think during that time, some of the things we were talking about maybe didn't need to escalate into a fight or a disagreement or into a near breakup.

So there are oftentimes now where I really want to connect with you and talk to you and explore why we're not on the same page.

But I do feel this hesitancy to do that because I'm nervous that you think that I'm trying to start a fight.

Stir something up.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I understand that, you know, it can be a healthy balance being the one in the relationship where you have to bring up the hard issues and the hard talks because you don't want to come off to you don't want to come off as the person that's causing an issue or that's starting an issue.

Um, But at the end of the day, those talks need to be had.

Those conversations need to be had.

And you were the one that was better at doing that.

I think that that's something I'm working on and I'm trying to...