Jun 22, 2026 · 45 min · 11 segments
Episode 2 - Knuck Hole, Gnome Skull, Numpty Performed by: Ben Meredith as Hooper Written and Performed by: Amy Dickinson as Nyx Imogen Harris as Elisar Jenny Haufek as Elizabeth and Tim…
Nobody has to zap anyone.
Thank you, Elizabeth.
Elisar, could you... [sighs] Why am I even asking? I'll get the door.
[door opening]
[door closing] I have the honor of being Jeremy Shelfshaper, loyal courtier to Her Majesty Queen Pumpernickel Lambswood, Queen of the Gnomes, High Ruler of the Downland, and Empress of the Sea from between Lansing and Bognor Regis.
On bended knee I beseech your collective boons.
Hello, Jeremy.
And I see you are joined in august company by a heroic prince of the elves.
'Sup?
I bring a lengthy, thrilling, almost overwhelming, exciting tale full of... [glass clinking] Uh, my apologies.
Are we blessed with further company in yonder kitchenette?
No, no, no, no, there's, there's no one, uh, y- y- yonder.
Uh, uh, Jeremy, uh, Mr. Shelfshaper, I, I, I don't mean to be rude, but, but could we maybe skip to the end of the tale? We, we have a pretty packed schedule today.
I'm planning a nap.
Of course.
I would never dare to impeach upon your valuable time.
I come for your help because a most pernicious beast haunts our lands with his insolent grandstanding.
Queen Pumpernickel Lambswood has benevolently wielded her divine influence to curb the postulant hydra, but he rebuffed her gracious admonition like the swine he is.
Postulant hydra?
Oh, he means the Lyminster Nucker.
The very same.
Oh, the one over in Arundel.
Nobody has to zap anyone.
Thank you, Elizabeth.
Elisar, could you... [sighs] Why am I even asking? I'll get the door.
[door opening]
[door closing] I have the honor of being Jeremy Shelfshaper, loyal courtier to Her Majesty Queen Pumpernickel Lambswood, Queen of the Gnomes, High Ruler of the Downland, and Empress of the Sea from between Lansing and Bognor Regis.
On bended knee I beseech your collective boons.
Hello, Jeremy.
And I see you are joined in august company by a heroic prince of the elves.
'Sup?
I bring a lengthy, thrilling, almost overwhelming, exciting tale full of... [glass clinking] Uh, my apologies.
Are we blessed with further company in yonder kitchenette?
No, no, no, no, there's, there's no one, uh, y- y- yonder.
Uh, uh, Jeremy, uh, Mr. Shelfshaper, I, I, I don't mean to be rude, but, but could we maybe skip to the end of the tale? We, we have a pretty packed schedule today.
I'm planning a nap.
Of course.
I would never dare to impeach upon your valuable time.
I come for your help because a most pernicious beast haunts our lands with his insolent grandstanding.
Queen Pumpernickel Lambswood has benevolently wielded her divine influence to curb the postulant hydra, but he rebuffed her gracious admonition like the swine he is.
Postulant hydra?
Oh, he means the Lyminster Nucker.
The very same.
Oh, the one over in Arundel.
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