Marvel's Wolverine | Fully Ramblomatic

Having played through Sony's Insomniac's Marvel's Wolverine, I can't help but feel a little confused by the, let's charitably call it, mixed reaction it received from press and audiences.

I mean, yes, it's tedious AAA drivel.

Sorry, Sony fanboys, if you were in the middle of a disbelieving gasp of delight there.

But I wouldn't have said any more so than all the other works of tedious AAA drivel that everybody else seems to like.

What's made everyone suddenly get on my page, the darker negativity-inducing page at the back just before the glossary of swear words and also by the same author? Is it just down to disappointment that this was Insomniac Games' follow-up to their two-and-a-half generally well-received Spider-Man open world games? But who the fuck was expecting something similar from a Wolverine game? Shared universe aside, Spider-Man is a handsome, earnest, wisecracking, but vulnerable hero who makes friends easily, especially with surrogate dads who all keep turning into supervillains for some reason, and who, more to the point, basically has an exciting fairground ride built into his fucking wrists.

Wolverine, in contrast, is a growly, antisocial short-arse with literal spikes growing out of him who can't die, making him literally the worst possible choice for a video game hero or indeed anyone you'd want to fist bump.

In a somewhat unclear period on the Marvel timeline, superpowered mutants are a hidden subset of the population, all of whom wish the rest of the human race would stop getting up their arse about their ability to basically nuke the planet on a whim.

Mr. Logan short-arse Wolverine is part of a secret team of mutants with a prominent X in the name who track down and offer support to other mutants, led by a telepathic suit-wearing British dude whose name also contains an X.

But get this, it's not the X-Men, it's Team X.

And it's not Professor Xavier, it's Nathaniel Essex.

Relish that surprise you're feeling, it's about as exciting as this game's gonna get.

Anyway, one day, Logan meets a hot redhead mutant named Jean Grey, who helps him discover a whole new perspective by pointing out that Nathaniel Essex, that guy right there, the one with the smug British voice, white skin, and red glowing eyes, who dresses like Count Dracula, probably isn't entirely on the up and up.

And in the course of about nineteen million repetitive combat encounters, Logan finds himself torn between his existing team and loyalty to Essex in particular, and his feelings for this woman that seem to stir something in his forgotten past and who has an ounce of basic fucking common sense.

Having played through Sony's Insomniac's Marvel's Wolverine, I can't help but feel a little confused by the, let's charitably call it, mixed reaction it received from press and audiences.

I mean, yes, it's tedious AAA drivel.

Sorry, Sony fanboys, if you were in the middle of a disbelieving gasp of delight there.

But I wouldn't have said any more so than all the other works of tedious AAA drivel that everybody else seems to like.

What's made everyone suddenly get on my page, the darker negativity-inducing page at the back just before the glossary of swear words and also by the same author? Is it just down to disappointment that this was Insomniac Games' follow-up to their two-and-a-half generally well-received Spider-Man open world games? But who the fuck was expecting something similar from a Wolverine game? Shared universe aside, Spider-Man is a handsome, earnest, wisecracking, but vulnerable hero who makes friends easily, especially with surrogate dads who all keep turning into supervillains for some reason, and who, more to the point, basically has an exciting fairground ride built into his fucking wrists.

Wolverine, in contrast, is a growly, antisocial short-arse with literal spikes growing out of him who can't die, making him literally the worst possible choice for a video game hero or indeed anyone you'd want to fist bump.

In a somewhat unclear period on the Marvel timeline, superpowered mutants are a hidden subset of the population, all of whom wish the rest of the human race would stop getting up their arse about their ability to basically nuke the planet on a whim.

Mr. Logan short-arse Wolverine is part of a secret team of mutants with a prominent X in the name who track down and offer support to other mutants, led by a telepathic suit-wearing British dude whose name also contains an X.

But get this, it's not the X-Men, it's Team X.

And it's not Professor Xavier, it's Nathaniel Essex.

Relish that surprise you're feeling, it's about as exciting as this game's gonna get.

Anyway, one day, Logan meets a hot redhead mutant named Jean Grey, who helps him discover a whole new perspective by pointing out that Nathaniel Essex, that guy right there, the one with the smug British voice, white skin, and red glowing eyes, who dresses like Count Dracula, probably isn't entirely on the up and up.

And in the course of about nineteen million repetitive combat encounters, Logan finds himself torn between his existing team and loyalty to Essex in particular, and his feelings for this woman that seem to stir something in his forgotten past and who has an ounce of basic fucking common sense.