Co-Host Erica Stein Talks Grief, Reflects on Strength, and Talks Summer Energetics

And kind of a segue into this is my grief update.

Actually, this week on Sunday, the 12th of July, is the two-year anniversary of my mom's passing, and it seems now that I do a grief update kind of annually because this'll be my second one.

But it's interesting because a lot of the life changes that are happening I feel are very divinely guided by my mother on the other side, definitely guided by my prayer and my Buddhist practice, and kind of speeding me, bullet training me, fast-tracking me into the life that I'm truly meant to live and was always meant to live.

But also, you know, as a parentified eldest daughter, and we've done a lot of episodes on this, I do think that my mom's passing, because I kind of...

And I, I hope this makes sense, but, you know, facing death, going through the portal of death, really, like, you know, experiencing that 150%, it almost like her death gave me permission to live life even more courageously, even more boldly, even more for myself, you know, and of course for others.

But yeah, it was like, what is there to be afraid of when you've literally faced death? [laughs] So yeah, we're gonna talk a little bit about death today.

But grief, grief is really sneaky because, you know, I've shared a lot of grief updates over the years.

And again, my mom and I were exceptionally close.

She was the most, one of the most important people in my life.

You know, a mother's love is unparalleled, and the loss of that love is tremendous, and I miss her every single day, and I connect with her every single day when I do my Buddhist practice, when I chant.

I have her picture on my altar, and I feel her with me all the time.

But yes, you know, grief is really sneaky because You know, if, if you haven't listened, you can go back and listen to some of our other grief episodes.

But my mother went into the hospital for routine testing on June 12th, June 13th, and she never came out, right? She went in for routine testing, and quickly there were problems and issues, and she ended up a week later in the ICU and ended up passing away in the ICU.

And so on June 13th or 14th, one day after she had entered for routine testing, I basically started living at the hospital in Los Angeles.

I lived in the ICU.

I was doing twenty-four hours a day on the floor and then twelve hours a day when she was in the ICU, and my dad and I would switch [laughs].

And it was a lot.

So it's so interesting because I bring that up because a-around June 13th, June 12th, June 14th, I started getting kinda sad and I was like, "Why am I sad? Is it my hormones? Am I...

Like, what's going on?" And then I was like, "Oh, your body remembers being in the hospital." And I don't know why it always surprises me.

This happened last year, but I guess it was maybe a bit more conscious last year because it was the first year, and now we're in year two.

And so, yeah, the weekend of, like, July, uh, June 14th, I started kinda feeling sad and down and, you know, like clockwork [laughs] this week I've been feeling kinda weird.

And yes, a lot's happening.

I'm gonna talk about the astro tea in the sky.

I'm gonna talk about, you know, obviously I'm moving.

I'm having a really exciting but big life transitions are happening and, um, like clockwork, I was like, "But why am I extra sad or why do I feel extra off?" And I'm very air dominant.