Avoidants Aren't The Bad Guys

Question for the pod.

Ooh, I love it when they give a little precursor to what the question is.

This is about emotional availability in a romantic relationship, and whether being emotionally available can be learned.

[laughs] Thank you for the precursor.

[laughs] I love that.

This is one of my favorite things that my girlfriend does.

She, like...

You guys are gonna notice it next time you see her.

She, like, announces what she's about to say or she gives me, like, a little intro text before she says it.

Like, she'll come into the room- Okay ... and she'll be like, "Do you wanna know something really cool about the weather today?" Or something like that.

[laughs] She doesn't just come into the room- But, yeah ... and say the thing.

She always, like- She's warming you up ... lets me know what she's gonna say, and I love it because it, like, builds a story for me.

Like, I'm like, "What's she gonna say?" Like, "Where are we going with this?" Mm-hmm.

I love it.

Okay.

My girlfriend and I have been together for two years.

She is someone that deals with her emotions by herself or not at all, and tends to just push them away.

Mm-hmm.

For me, that makes it difficult to build up real emotional intimacy in the relationship, and I have not always been happy in the relationship mainly due to that.

We have now agreed that she will try to reflect more on her emotions and let me be a part of her processing.

Mm-hmm.

We want to try this out in the next few months and then reevaluate.

My question is whether any of you has experience with a similar situation, and whether this is something you can work through in a relationship.

Yes.

I am wondering if it makes sense to wait for change while potentially being unhappy in the process and with unsure outcome.