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Chiquis and Chill

Chiquis and Chill

The Science of Feeling Loved

Sep 28, 2026 · 52 min · 34 segments

Why do so many of us feel unloved, even when people love us? This week, I sat down with Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychology professor who has spent 37 years studying happiness. Sonja talks about how…

Why do so many of us feel unloved, even when people love us? This week, I sat down with Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychology professor who has spent 37 years studying happiness. Sonja talks about how feeling connected and loved is the key to a happier life, the beauty of "radical curiosity," and why being vulnerable makes people like you more, not less. This conversation made me so happy, and I think it's going to make you happy too. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Why do so many of us feel unloved, even when people love us? This week, I sat down with Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychology professor who has spent 37 years studying happiness. Sonja talks about how…

Speakers: Sonja LyubomirskyGuestChiquisHost

Show signals: SuitabilitySafeAudience≈547k followers

Spotify Apple Podcasts YouTube Amazon Music Website

Top entities: Nissan Rogue×18 State Farm×17 Sonja Lyubomirsky×11 National Hispanic Heritage Month×5 Zillow×13

Happiness, Rumination, and Feeling Loved4:05 – 14:14

Sonja LyubomirskyGuest

4:05

Yay! I was

C

ChiquisHost

4:06

practicing.

C

ChiquisHost

4:07

It

Sonja LyubomirskyGuest

4:07

means love and peace.

Sonja LyubomirskyGuest

4:09

Oh,

C

ChiquisHost

4:09

I love that.

Sonja LyubomirskyGuest

4:10

Любовь и мир in Russian.

C

ChiquisHost

4:12

Oh my, so this was your destiny.

Sonja LyubomirskyGuest

4:16

I always hated my name.

Sonja LyubomirskyGuest

4:16

Actually, no one can spell it or pronounce it except for you.

Sonja LyubomirskyGuest

4:19

Yay,

C

ChiquisHost

4:19

I'm

Sonja LyubomirskyGuest

4:19

so proud.

C

ChiquisHost

4:20

But it turned out to

Sonja LyubomirskyGuest

4:20

be useful.

C

ChiquisHost

4:22

I love it.

C

ChiquisHost

4:23

Oh my goodness.

C

ChiquisHost

4:24

Okay, so you've been studying love and happiness for

Sonja LyubomirskyGuest

4:28

25, 30 years? Happiness for 37 years.

Sonja LyubomirskyGuest

4:30

37 years.

C

ChiquisHost

4:31

Can you believe it? Yeah.

Sonja LyubomirskyGuest

4:32

I call myself a happiness scientist.

Sonja LyubomirskyGuest

4:34

I've been a happiness scientist for 37 years.

Sonja LyubomirskyGuest

4:37

I mean, I'm a professor of psychology.

Sonja LyubomirskyGuest

4:39

That's kind of my formal title.

Nissan RogueEntitySUV
99%18 mentions
State FarmCompanyInsurance company
96%17 mentions
Sonja LyubomirskyPersonAmerican professor
93%11 mentions
National Hispanic Heritage MonthEntityCelebration
90%5 mentions
ZillowCompanyReal estate company
87%13 mentions
AirtaskerCompanyOutsourcing company
84%5 mentions
App storeEntityType of software
81%7 mentions
T-MobileCompanyMobile telecommunication company
78%5 mentions
My Cultura Podcast NetworkCompanyCompany
75%6 mentions
Nissan MotorCompanyAutomobile manufacturer
72%4 mentions
CarEntityMode of transport
69%11 mentions
Apple PodcastsSoftware Application
66%2 mentions
iHeartRadioCompanyCompany
63%6 mentions
Target CorporationCompanyRetailer corporation
60%3 mentions
GoogleCompanyTechnology corporation
57%8 mentions
ruminationEntity
54%1 mention
Wilmer ValderramaPersonAmerican actor
51%3 mentions
sadnessEntity
49%2 mentions
cars.comCompanyWebsite
46%1 mention
TikTokSoftware ApplicationWebsite
43%3 mentions
Hispanic and Latino AmericansEntityRace
40%2 mentions
J.D. PowerCompanyCompany
37%3 mentions
RussiaCountryCountry
34%1 mention
Chiquis RiveraPersonAmerican singer and TV personality
31%3 mentions
Bill ClintonPerson42nd U.S. President
28%1 mention
MexicoCountryCountry in North America
25%1 mention
Soviet UnionCountryCountry
22%1 mention
White HouseTourist AttractionOfficial residence in Washington, D.C., United States
19%1 mention
Immanuel KantPersonPhilosopher
16%1 mention
SpotifyCompanyCompany
13%2 mentions
ConfuciusPersonChinese philosopher
10%1 mention
John F. KennedyPerson35th U.S. President
7%1 mention
Bay of Pigs InvasionEventInvasion
4%1 mention
WhatsAppSoftware ApplicationWeb site
1%1 mention

ResearchEducation > Psychology
Society
Lifestyle
Emotional Well-beingPsychology > Happiness > Mental Health > Personal Development
VulnerabilityRelationships > Love > Connection > Communication
Youth IssuesSociety > Mental Health Awareness > Stigma > Cultural Shifts
Gratitude InterventionsEducation > Psychology > Research > Happiness Studies
Gratitude PracticesLifestyle > Self-improvement > Mindfulness > Meditation
HappinessPsychology
PsychologyEducation
StigmaSociety > Mental Health Awareness
Cultural ShiftsSociety > Mental Health Awareness > Stigma
MindfulnessLifestyle > Self-improvement
Mental HealthPsychology > Happiness
MeditationLifestyle > Self-improvement > Mindfulness
Mental Health AwarenessSociety
Self-improvementLifestyle
LoveRelationships
Happiness StudiesEducation > Psychology > Research
ConnectionRelationships > Love
Personal DevelopmentPsychology > Happiness > Mental Health
CommunicationRelationships > Love > Connection
Education
Psychology
Relationships

Happiness, Rumination, and Feeling Loved4:05 – 14:14

Sonja LyubomirskyGuest

4:05

Yay! I was

C

ChiquisHost

4:06

practicing.

C

ChiquisHost

4:07

It

Sonja LyubomirskyGuest

4:07

means love and peace.

Sonja LyubomirskyGuest

4:09

Oh,

C

ChiquisHost

4:09

I love that.

Sonja LyubomirskyGuest

4:10

Любовь и мир in Russian.

C

ChiquisHost

4:12

Oh my, so this was your destiny.

Sonja LyubomirskyGuest

4:16

I always hated my name.

Sonja LyubomirskyGuest

4:16

Actually, no one can spell it or pronounce it except for you.

Sonja LyubomirskyGuest

4:19

Yay,

C

ChiquisHost

4:19

I'm

Sonja LyubomirskyGuest

4:19

so proud.

C

ChiquisHost

4:20

But it turned out to

Sonja LyubomirskyGuest

4:20

be useful.

C

ChiquisHost

4:22

I love it.

C

ChiquisHost

4:23

Oh my goodness.

C

ChiquisHost

4:24

Okay, so you've been studying love and happiness for

Sonja LyubomirskyGuest

4:28

25, 30 years? Happiness for 37 years.

Sonja LyubomirskyGuest

4:30

37 years.

C

ChiquisHost

4:31

Can you believe it? Yeah.

Sonja LyubomirskyGuest

4:32

I call myself a happiness scientist.

Sonja LyubomirskyGuest

4:34

I've been a happiness scientist for 37 years.

Sonja LyubomirskyGuest

4:37

I mean, I'm a professor of psychology.

Sonja LyubomirskyGuest

4:39

That's kind of my formal title.

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