Polarization, Difficult Conversations and Finding a Better Way to Talk

So I want to bring in my co-creator, my co-host, my friend, Melanie Neji.

And Mel, I'm going to give you credit for this one because this was your idea, to have an expert come on the pod to help us navigate this new era we're all living in, how to have a conversation with someone that feels a little uncomfortable.

Yeah, when you think of a conversation, you think it should just be natural.

Why would you need practical tips for having a conversation, right? You engage in them every day.

But as you articulated, the world has shifted.

Things feel edgier.

People are more reactive.

There's more negativity.

We've talked about this on previous episodes.

The social media space really ramped things up.

I find from the kitchen table to the workplace to public places, some of the etiquette of having a conversation, whether it's listening, whether it's making sure you clearly understand, giving someone the space, it feels like it was corroding or disappearing.

And I know, you know, you kind of experienced that.

your, your feelings with conflict.

I too am, am conflict adverse, but I kind of sometimes have these, this opposite reaction where instead of retreating from it, I feel like it brings out all these different emotions for me.

Either I get really mad and then I look like I'm the person losing control in the conversation or, you know, honestly, I start to cry and that to me is so embarrassing and it's not, I'm sad.

I just don't know why.

Sometimes when things get a little heated, I get really emotional.

So I need some tips as well because, you know, I want to be able to have healthy conversations as well.

And I just feel that sometimes we're just losing connection to some of the basics.

So I'm really excited for the guest we have for you today.

Her name is Dr. Aftab Erfan.

She is currently the executive director of Simon Fraser's university, their Centre for Dialogue.

She has spent a career helping people have better conversations, even when the issues they're discussing aren't anything but easy.

She also helped with conflict engagement at the University of British Columbia.

She was the city of Vancouver's first chief equity officer.