Why You Can't Sleep In Perimenopause and Menopause; Sleep Psychologist Explains

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text Dr Michelle Olaithe has spent her career inside sleep labs and university research, obsessed with what happens to the brain when sleep breaks down.  Now she's turning that expertise on perimenopause and menopause — treating sleep and hormones as the same problem, not two separate ones.  Danielle and Michelle get into testosterone (the hormone nobody talks about), why melatonin isn't a sleeping pill, and why "fix your sleep" is never as simple as it sounds. Michelle has kindly sent Big Stuff podcast a sleep and menopause handout, plus a sleep diary and a summary sheet of hormones and impacts on sleep for you.  Please email danielle@daniellecolley.com.au and we will send it right over.  **Chapters**  - 0:00 — Why Michelle is obsessed with sleep - 5:00 — Danielle's lifelong "radio station" brain and ADHD - 7:00 — The statistics of women and sleep - 9:00 —When sleep issues need real intervention - 13:00 — When to start investigating - 16:00 — The hormone nobody talks about - 22:00 — Why HRT isn't a silver bullet for sleep - 25:00 — Becoming your own detective - 29:00 — Melatonin myths - 35:00 — How much sleep do you actually need? - 42:00 — It's not always biology - 47:00 — Masking, neurodivergence, and "the hag" - 50:00 — Why childhood stuff resurfaces now - 52:00 — Alcohol and sleep — the real cost - 54:00 — Wrap-up: good health is a spectrum **Key Takeaways** - 40–60% of women going through perimenopause and menopause experience disrupted sleep — it's the majority, not the exception. - Testosterone is the most overlooked hormone in HRT conversations, and it plays a major role in cognitive function. - Melatonin isn't a sleeping pill — it's a rhythm-setter, and most people take it the wrong way. - HRT alone doesn't guarantee good sleep — it often still needs its own routine, investigation, and support. - Disrupted sleep can sometimes be pointing to something else entirely — unresolved boundaries, relationship dynamics, or things worth sitting with rather than fixing immediately. **FAQs** 1. *Does HRT fix perimenopause sleep problems?* Not always — HRT helps a lot of people, but sleep often needs its own separate investigation and routine on top of it. 2. *What's the right way to take melatonin?* As a small, consistent dose taken at the same time each evening to set your body's rhythm — not as a rescue dose once you're already awake at night. 3. *Why does testosterone matter for women in perimenopause?* It's declining with age (not just menopause) and has a major impact on cognitive function, brain fog, and libido — but it's rarely included in standard HRT. **References & Links** - Dr Michelle Olaithe — ⁠The Sleep Psychologist ⁠ - Michelle's TEDxMandurah talk, ⁠"Science of Sleep"⁠ - **Related episodes:** Michelle's previous Big Stuff appearance on narcissism \-⁠ Are You Misdiagnosing Your Relationship? ⁠ Danielle's experience with her late in life adhd diagnosis and how peri impacted that \- ADHD and Perimenopause; Danielle's Midlife Diagnosis <!--THE END--> - Danielle Colley: daniellecolley.com.au If this episode helped you make sense of your own sleep, share it with one woman who needs to hear it.