Feeling Seen: The Reality of Coming Out as Trans | Tousi R.

Tousi R. has been doing Kelsey's hair for five years. This year, she came out to the world as a trans woman. *"If you do say, 'You're beautiful,' it will change a trans person's life, trust me. 'Cause our entire life has been like, 'You're not good enough.' So do that, and it's free."* Tousi is a celebrity hairstylist with a salon in West Hollywood and co-host of the Having A Moment podcast.  She grew up the child of Persian immigrants in a conservative, Catholic-school suburb where, as she puts it, there was no acknowledgement that anyone like her existed. She knew at six. She transitioned at 30, after two years of therapy. This is a conversation between two friends who trust each other. Tousi talks about the comments that flooded a workout video she and Kelsey posted, the year of facial feminization and breast surgery, why she stocks tampons in a salon run by a woman who will never get a period, and what she actually wants from people who don't understand her. She is funny, blunt, and unfiltered, and she has a lot of insight to share that we can all learn from.. If you've ever hidden a part of yourself to make other people comfortable, this is your episode. It's never too early or too late to be who you are. Follow Tousi on Instagram @aitous and TikTok @tousibeauty, and listen to Having A Moment podcast. **Thank you to our sponsors** Orange Toucan: orangetoucan.com Code: KELSEY25 for 25% off Tmrw: drinktmrw.com Code: KELSEYHEENAN for $10 off your first order — subscribe and save 25% plus a free welcome kit **Chapters** (00:00) Five Years in the Chair (01:02) "I've Worked With Celebrities, But I Work With Everyone" (02:20) The Red Hair Era (03:53) Color Is Not a Personality (04:31) Keep Your Hairdresser (05:53) "I'm a Trans Woman" (06:27) Growing Up Persian, Catholic, and Unseen (07:16) Hair as an Escape (08:41) Things You Never Knew You Never Knew (10:22) Progress, Not Woke (11:23) "If You Don't Believe in It, Don't Do It" (13:45) Sexuality Does Not Define Identity (14:39) A Word From Orange Toucan (15:51) "When Did I Choose to Be Straight?" (17:43) The Comments on the Workout Video (19:41) "I'm Not a Marvel Character" (22:15) Knowing at Six Years Old (24:46) "I Wish I Transitioned Earlier" (26:59) The Movie That Shows You the Ending First (27:34) Coming Out and Two Years of Therapy (29:02) The World Is Not a Beautiful Place (31:42) The Year of Surgery (33:17) Plastic Surgery, Stigma, and Choice (35:46) The Insulin Question (36:49) Mental Fitness, Not Mental Illness (39:42) "I've Never Allowed Anyone to Tell Me Who I Am" (42:29) Tampons in the Salon (44:52) A Word From TMRW (45:53) "Stop Bullying Us" (49:16) What "Pushing an Agenda" Even Means (51:04) Exposure, Diversity, and Who Decides (53:28) "We Just Wanna Live" (56:07) The Priest, Confession, and Keeping Faith (58:57) Advice for Anyone Scared to Be Themselves (60:55) What Support Looks Like (62:26) Friends Over Partners (65:27) What Transition Taught Her (67:59) "It's Not a Choice. It's Who You Are." (68:10) "Tell Them They're Beautiful" (68:41) Where to Find Aitous (70:03) Farewell