#263 - Why Being Good at Something Could Be Holding You Back!

But I think sometimes... we see, or should I say something that we see all the time in recruitment as well, which kind of aligns with what we were just saying, is candidates telling us exactly why they're not right for a role.

So, you know, ask someone what they need to improve and they'll give you a long list.

But, you know, ask them what they're brilliant at and suddenly they're really uncomfortable.

I'm really guilty of this.

I'm really, really bad at picking up on stuff like that.

So why do you think that we're so much better at spotting our weaknesses than recognising our strengths?

Well, it goes back centuries and centuries and centuries.

We're conditioned.

You know, when we were, you know, cave people and we might have been being chased by the tigers or whatever, you had to be on high alert.

If you're out hunting, you had to be on high alert because if you took your eye off the ball and you weren't alert to those things that might present a threat to you, you're literally going to get eaten up.

Yeah.

our brains haven't quite got to a stage where we've evolved from that because it kept us

safe it

made sure that we were safe it made sure that we continued to live and that was the bottom line are you alive or are you not alive and what we're dealing with today it's often not that serious is it but the brain, it's the way it's wired but the brain has neural pathways and those neural pathways can be rewired so we think a little bit differently so the stuff around strengths and the stuff that I work with people about is reframing things, getting to think about things differently, what different lens might we put on that, what other perspectives are there, how might other people see it as well, you know, but really honing in on the potential for 360 degree feedback, and for some people it makes them go, because it makes you think of stuff like, you know, appraisal experiences that people have had that might not have felt great where it's about the stuff you've got to get better the stuff you've got to work on but when I use 360 degree feedback it's sharing with other people what strengths are and then asking for feedback on how they show up so even the very nature of it starting that what we're talking about is strengths puts that much more positive mindset around it and people are being invited to give that feedback and it doesn't mean that you can't share things around how to improve because we all want to improve we all want to be able to be doing the best that we can but seeing it through that lens makes it feel less prickly if we feel less prickly our brains will be much more open because we're not feeling like we're under attack yeah so it allows different spaces in our brains to to come in and do their work as well there'll be stuff that's sitting back there that you know we can only be conscious of so much stuff at the same time and there'll be stuff that's sitting back there that's gone in but we've never thought about and if we're feeling relaxed and we're feeling like we're able to be curious and look at opportunities and different sorts of outcomes, then that stuff will come forward.

It's when we're feeling under pressure and like there's only one way we can do it.

Oh my goodness, how am I going to get out of this? Our thinking shuts down because it's our brain protecting us.

Right, just focus on that.

Just make your way there.

Let's just go in that direction because it feels like it's the only way.

so would you say that that's why like the best ideas can come like while you're in the shower

But I think sometimes... we see, or should I say something that we see all the time in recruitment as well, which kind of aligns with what we were just saying, is candidates telling us exactly why they're not right for a role.

So, you know, ask someone what they need to improve and they'll give you a long list.

But, you know, ask them what they're brilliant at and suddenly they're really uncomfortable.

I'm really guilty of this.

I'm really, really bad at picking up on stuff like that.

So why do you think that we're so much better at spotting our weaknesses than recognising our strengths?

Well, it goes back centuries and centuries and centuries.

We're conditioned.

You know, when we were, you know, cave people and we might have been being chased by the tigers or whatever, you had to be on high alert.

If you're out hunting, you had to be on high alert because if you took your eye off the ball and you weren't alert to those things that might present a threat to you, you're literally going to get eaten up.

Yeah.

our brains haven't quite got to a stage where we've evolved from that because it kept us

safe it

made sure that we were safe it made sure that we continued to live and that was the bottom line are you alive or are you not alive and what we're dealing with today it's often not that serious is it but the brain, it's the way it's wired but the brain has neural pathways and those neural pathways can be rewired so we think a little bit differently so the stuff around strengths and the stuff that I work with people about is reframing things, getting to think about things differently, what different lens might we put on that, what other perspectives are there, how might other people see it as well, you know, but really honing in on the potential for 360 degree feedback, and for some people it makes them go, because it makes you think of stuff like, you know, appraisal experiences that people have had that might not have felt great where it's about the stuff you've got to get better the stuff you've got to work on but when I use 360 degree feedback it's sharing with other people what strengths are and then asking for feedback on how they show up so even the very nature of it starting that what we're talking about is strengths puts that much more positive mindset around it and people are being invited to give that feedback and it doesn't mean that you can't share things around how to improve because we all want to improve we all want to be able to be doing the best that we can but seeing it through that lens makes it feel less prickly if we feel less prickly our brains will be much more open because we're not feeling like we're under attack yeah so it allows different spaces in our brains to to come in and do their work as well there'll be stuff that's sitting back there that you know we can only be conscious of so much stuff at the same time and there'll be stuff that's sitting back there that's gone in but we've never thought about and if we're feeling relaxed and we're feeling like we're able to be curious and look at opportunities and different sorts of outcomes, then that stuff will come forward.

It's when we're feeling under pressure and like there's only one way we can do it.

Oh my goodness, how am I going to get out of this? Our thinking shuts down because it's our brain protecting us.

Right, just focus on that.

Just make your way there.

Let's just go in that direction because it feels like it's the only way.

so would you say that that's why like the best ideas can come like while you're in the shower