Philip Boynton
135
APPEARANCES
2
PODCASTS
Oct 9, 2026
Connie BrooksHOST
It afforded some relief, however, to sit in the cafeteria at lunchtime and pour my baleful story into the handsome ears of Mr. Boynton.
Philip BoyntonGUEST
Two weeks ago, Mr. Conklin gave you the school phone bill, told you it was overdue and must be paid at once.
Connie BrooksHOST
Temporarily, we've got to assume it's gone, and the point is, where am I going to get another $30?
speaker_10UNKNOWN
[laughs]
Philip BoyntonGUEST
We're extremely short of supplies, Ms. Brooks, so I want you to check every requisition very carefully before handing them out.
speaker_10UNKNOWN
[laughs]
Philip BoyntonGUEST
I was talking to Mr. Jensen, the janitor, about it, and he's promised to speak to Mr. Conklin and get him to inspect the system himself.
Philip BoyntonGUEST
You see, I have a lot of electrical appliances in the lab now, but none of them give off much heat.
Bob LamondNARRATOR
Let's listen.
16 MINS LATER
Philip BoyntonGUEST
I know that I can appeal to you for assistance without fear of embarrassment, and I know when you hear my story, you'll want to help.
Philip BoyntonGUEST
He's the one who told me the joke about the quiz master who called out, I've got a lady doctor, but before he could ask her any questions, she stuck a thermometer in his mouth and took his pulse.
20 MINS LATER
Philip BoyntonGUEST
when you gave up your room for Mother, I suddenly realized that you're not only attractive, but also sweet and unselfish.
Philip BoyntonGUEST
I know the habits of animals from A to Z, or perhaps I should say from aardvark to zebra.
Philip BoyntonGUEST
Now, now, let's consider for a moment the Dane's remarkable sense of hearing.
Philip BoyntonGUEST
I know I haven't been the most aggressive chap in the world, but I do think of other things besides my biological experiments.
Philip BoyntonGUEST
The things that a man thinks about a woman sometimes, whether she's a fellow teacher or not.
Philip BoyntonGUEST
My, my grandmother came into town unexpectedly this morning, and I promised to take her out for the day.
Philip BoyntonGUEST
She's, uh, she's rather helpless, you see, because, well, she's quite far along in years.
8 MINS LATER
speaker_15UNKNOWN
[laughs]
Philip BoyntonGUEST
Just what is it you'd like me to observe? Have you got a new hairdo, or did you manicure your nails in a different shade?
19 MINS LATER
Philip BoyntonGUEST
But I just remembered that there's another member of Madison's faculty who's all alone tonight and needs cheering up pretty badly.
Philip BoyntonGUEST
In my second period, Mr. Conklin came into the lab and brought me a bag of donuts and a bottle of milk.
Philip BoyntonGUEST
My grandmother came into town unexpectedly this morning, and I promised to take her out for the day.
Philip BoyntonGUEST
She's, uh, she's rather helpless, you see, because, well, she's quite far along in years.
11 MINS LATER
Bob LamondNARRATOR
This girl gets nothing.
Philip BoyntonGUEST
I'd be satisfied with any sort of a small place to stay in for the weekend until I can find another apartment.
Philip BoyntonGUEST
But if you could only let me stay in it for the weekend, I'd be indebted to you for life.
Philip BoyntonGUEST
I- In my second period, Mr. Conklin came into the lab and brought me a bag of donuts and a bottle of milk.
Philip BoyntonGUEST
Well, he started off the day by roaring into my lab like a wounded bull elephant, and asked me why my cages weren't ready for the Clean Up, Paint Up, Fix Up campaign.
Philip BoyntonGUEST
Yes, they did have 600 of them up there last year, but I don't know, Ms. Brooks.
Philip BoyntonGUEST
Even with the chaperones, you, you know how people talk, and unless we didn't say anything about it, but even then they might find out.
Philip BoyntonGUEST
If I throw my budget out the window this time, I'll be tempted to do it again.
speaker_8UNKNOWN
aboard.
Philip BoyntonGUEST
You see, the truth of the matter is I spent my last six dollars getting the car repaired, and I just haven't enough money to put any gas in this afternoon.
Philip BoyntonGUEST
The prospect of having my likeness appear in a magazine is the most exciting thing that ever happened to me.
8 MINS LATER
Osgood ConklinGUEST
Yes, and it's my guess that right now she and her western drawl are loping over to the old bunkhouse in Mr. Boynton's lab.
Philip BoyntonGUEST
You know, sometimes I get to thinking about my childhood days on Dad's farm, Miss Brooks.
19 MINS LATER
Philip BoyntonGUEST
But I just remembered that there's another member of Madison's faculty who's all alone tonight and needs cheering up pretty badly.
Rick BurgessADVERTISER
All right, Ms. Brooks, and I know Mr. Boynton will be tickled to hear it
Philip BoyntonGUEST
Well, I, I would like to root for the old team, but I promised Mr. LeBlance the ticket, and once I make a promise, I keep it.
speaker_5UNKNOWN
could happen to me.
11 MINS LATER
Connie BrooksHOST
You remember me, Madame Le Boucher? And of course, this gentleman here with the alpine jacket and the bare knees is Bane Eric Stromstad.
speaker_3UNKNOWN
It
Philip BoyntonGUEST
Now, I'll still have to stay close to him to see how the medication I'm giving him catches on.
Walter DentonGUEST
Yeah, we raided some racketeers, and the next thing we knew, we were in the pie wagon.
Philip BoyntonGUEST
Oh, let these people out of here, is it? Why, yes, it just happens that I've had quite a bit of legal training in addition to my biological background, and I can tell you that you have no legal basis upon which to hold them any longer.
Philip BoyntonGUEST
I've heard from many people how generous and warm-hearted you are under your veneer of seeming sophistication.
Philip BoyntonGUEST
Of course, I've always known that you're true blue, a hundred percent human being, deep down below the surface.
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