Walter Denton
151
APPEARANCES
2
PODCASTS
Oct 10, 2026
Walter DentonGUEST
A favor? Me? Oh, Miss Brooks, how can you possibly suspect me of such foul tactics? No matter how much you pump me, I'm not gonna divulge the dismal fact that last Monday, Mr.
Walter DentonGUEST
Conklin caught me holding hands with Harriet and ordered me to stay for an hour after school for two weeks to take care of such sundry back-breaking and humiliating jobs as sweeping out classrooms, washing windows, and [gasps] emptying waste baskets.
speaker_7UNKNOWN
[laughing]
Walter DentonGUEST
Why, you'd have to flay me with a horsewhip before I'd ask you to drop in to Mr. Conklin's office this morning and ask him to ease up on me.
Walter DentonGUEST
Oh, wasn't that the bill that was overdue and Mr. Conklin asked you to pay it for him at once?
Connie BrooksHOST
Stretch Snodgrass? Listen, Walter, I know Stretch is a great athlete and a good friend of yours, but he's a birdbrain.
Walter DentonGUEST
Yeah, I was afraid you might take exception to my frankness, but I mean it all for your own good, Miss Brooks.
Walter DentonGUEST
If I have been less voluble concerning your obvious charms in the past, know too that I have been less voluble about the human frailties which you, like all mankind, have sometimes fallen heir to.
10 MINS LATER
speaker_8UNKNOWN
[laughs]
Walter DentonGUEST
Not that I'm comparing you with a car or anything, but, well, you're still so youthful.
Walter DentonGUEST
And as is my wont when I want advice, I've hide myself to my favorite English teacher.
Walter DentonGUEST
It's about a Mother's Day gift, but a very special type of mother, Miss Brooks.
Walter DentonGUEST
That is, I know it's impossible right now, but just for supposition's sake, suppose you woke up one day and found yourself a mother.
21 MINS LATER
BoyntonGUEST
for the books.
speaker_9UNKNOWN
[laughs]
Walter DentonGUEST
She said that anybody who could teach a language to so many kids for such a long time, in spite of her obvious difficulty in speaking that language, should get a medal.
speaker_1ADVERTISER
Visit spinquest.com for more details.
Walter DentonGUEST
And I want you to know that we're sure grateful to you for keeping him eligible this year.
Walter DentonGUEST
Gosh, if you didn't help him with his studies after school, I don't know what would happen.
Walter DentonGUEST
Well look, if you're worried about getting to school in the morning, Stretch, I'll be happy to pick you up and drive you in.
Walter DentonGUEST
After all, if we're gonna be on a football team together, we'll be practicing a lot in the mornings.
Walter DentonGUEST
Well, on account of this being safety week, I decided to give it a thorough overhauling, Miss Brooks.
Walter DentonGUEST
So last night I took off the drive shaft, dismantled the transmission, and removed the rear end.
speaker_4UNKNOWN
You
Walter DentonGUEST
Tell me, Walter, how do you usually spend Thanksgiving? Well, usually, Mom cooks a big turkey and we have dinner around 4 o'clock in the afternoon.
Walter DentonGUEST
First we had a fresh fruit cup, then some delicious vegetable soup, and then this big golden brown turkey was served with a special dressing made out of chestnuts and raisins and stuff and...
Walter DentonGUEST
It has come to the attention of the board that you have been flagrantly dictatorial in your dealings with the faculty as well as the student body.
Walter DentonGUEST
As you know, I approve of discipline, but your conduct lately has been overboard.
Walter DentonGUEST
Therefore, please be advised that if you do not reverse your tyrannical methods at once, I will be forced to convene the board to consider your immediate replacement as principal of Madison High, sincerely, Edgar T.
Walter DentonGUEST
She said that anybody who could teach a language to so many kids for such a long time in spite of her obvious difficulty in speaking that language should get a medal.
Walter DentonGUEST
When the tantalizing aroma of chalk and pencil shavings beckons us all, teachers and pupils alike, to join hands amidst the clanging of bells, come gaily skipping back to the black hole of Calcutta.
Walter DentonGUEST
First, I want to apologize because I couldn't drive you to school this morning.
12 MINS LATER
speaker_4UNKNOWN
[laughs]
Walter DentonGUEST
It says, "Dear sir, it has come to the attention of the board that you have been flagrantly dictatorial in your dealings with the faculty as well as the student body.
Walter DentonGUEST
As you know, I approve of discipline, but your conduct lately has been overboard.
Walter DentonGUEST
Therefore, please be advised that if you do not reverse your tyrannical methods at once, I will be forced to convene the bo- convene the board to consider your immediate replacement as principal of Madison High.
speaker_8UNKNOWN
[laughs]
Walter DentonGUEST
Well, I'd be happy to supply the lift, Miss Brooks, but alas, my chariot is at present reposing endurance vial.
Walter DentonGUEST
I mean, the car's being repaired, Miss Brooks, and that's why I couldn't get you this morning.
Walter DentonGUEST
No, but when the wire broke, it got tangled up in the fan belt and ripped it to pieces.
Walter DentonGUEST
Who hasn't? Oh, the only reason I didn't make the football team last year was because I hurt my arm trying out for the baseball team.
Mrs. DavisGUEST
Nice clamming, Mrs. Davis.
Walter DentonGUEST
Well, I guess I did spend a minute or two combing my wave at a devil-may-care angle.
Walter DentonGUEST
at that time, I happened to be standing in the hall just outside the lab, and presently I heard excitement-laden voices wafted through the transom.
Walter DentonGUEST
I could have either hewed to the path of dishonor by remaining in the hall and eavesdropping, or I could have taken the glorious avenue of decency by closing my ears and leaving the scene.
18 MINS LATER
Walter DentonGUEST
Tell me, Walter, how do you usually spend Thanksgiving? Well, usually, Mom cooks a big turkey and we have dinner around 4 o'clock in the afternoon.
Walter DentonGUEST
First we had a fresh fruit cup, then some delicious vegetable soup, and then this big golden brown turkey was served with a special dressing made out of chestnuts and raisins and stuff.
speaker_6UNKNOWN
[laughs]
Walter DentonGUEST
I mean, it's a foregone conclusion that he'll take you, and the dance ought to be a lot of fun tomorrow night.
Walter DentonGUEST
Harriet and I have promised each other every dance, except maybe one or two she'll have to give Mr. Boynton.
Walter DentonGUEST
Since we've been chosen to play in the bowl, he's definitely lid-flipping material.
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