And Nikki, tell me just, uh, as a mom and as a nurse or what you, um, felt during that, and try and hold that so you can be seen, my love.

Hey, no, I was just so impressed.

I didn't realize that these tools were available, and I think anytime you can unlock, um, a child's ability to communicate and be a part of the world around them and know that they are existing in the world, but like, a- and getting them to connect was just so amazing to hear y'all's voice.

I can't wait to go home and share with my kids and show them these tools that are available.

I'm so, um, impressed and just impacted by this and excited for what you guys are doing, and really excited that the word is getting out.

And, um, so keep it up, you guys.

Y'all are amazing.

Delta's dress.

That, it actually is.

It, it actually has been something on my bucket list.

I've always wanted to do a Eurovision gown and, um, I said it earlier in the year, and then when I found out Delta was representing Australia, I was like, "Oh my God," like, "This is actually a, a really good chance of this happening." So, um, they reached, her team reached out end of, um, end of March, early April.

... can you describe the dress to us?

Um, look, it's a beautiful, um, gown.

It's got over 7,000 Swarovski crystals.

Um, we just thought pretty much being, the event being in Austria, um, we had to pay tribute to the, you know, um, Vienna's signature sparkle.

Mm-hmm.

Who owned the Skinwalker Ranch then.

So he was trying to figure out what was going on with Bigelow selling these filesBack to the government.

And like he was buying MUFON files, something like that.

So, and I don't know if you want to add all that into the story or anything like that.

But, um, so he, he told me that he had been doing a lot of UFO stuff and he owned a few properties in Missouri.

He had one in, um, he still has them, I believe.

Mm-hmm.

Did you recognize how harmful your husband's behaviors were at first?

Not at all.

Goodness me, no.

I was 15, just had my 16th birthday when I met my husband.

Um, I was in the UK, and we've been together ever since.

I was six months pregnant with our first child, and he brought this little black bag home, and [scoffs] not, not seen it before.

We weren't living together at the time.

In terms of the Betrayal Trauma Recovery group, how has the education and the support that you've received there helped you to make different choices about how you are interacting with him?

Ooh.

Uh, I'm clearly very shaken up and frustrating, and s- frustrated as I, um, as I aim.

I kind of stash it and I aim with my, uh, my other pistol, which is, uh, significantly bigger.

It's my...

A Koltech weapon.

I, uh, infused it, uh, in the morning.

I don't really change it.

Oh, I, I, I'll allow it.

So why did you choose that?

It's a good one, isn't it? Um, it was...

Well, first of all, I'll give a nod to my church service on Sunday.

It was in there, but I think it's one of those anchor scriptures for us that have, um, received Christ, and if you haven't received Christ, then just encourage you to, because there's such a re-reality of, like, that hidden peace that we have.

The l- world is chaotic.

There's a lot of things going on out there, but we are hidden in Christ, and there's just a safety and a security that comes to me in that, you know, in the midst of living in this chaotic, broken, fallen world that, uh, He's got a secure place for me, but then also to shift my mind when I feel anxious or insecure or prideful to, to reorient myself to the things above.

Massie Ratfar?

All the things.

Thank you for taking the next step

stepI want this for all of you.

You're on the threshold.

A bigger world is opening up, but your will is standing in the way like a security guard.

You need to retire that guy.

Let him sit down and rest his feet.

He's not serving you anymore

What? [laughs]

But you did tell me that you have some shows where people are having sex in front of you.

Yes.

So if you wanna talk about those, we can.

Those are just listeners or people that I've met through groups, of swingers groups, that have hired me to go.

One hired me to go on vacation with them on a cruise ship, and all I was supposed to do is show up at night.

They paid for my trip, my flights, everything.

And they had a suite.

[laughs]

Were there any other clients that you got close to?

Yeah.

I think that a couple people took, like, pity on me or knew how hard I was trying.

I had this customer who, honestly, I do not remember if we hooked up every time, like, I saw them.

Sometimes it was just different or coffee or something like that.

And I remember one time they just came over to my apartment in the middle of the day and they were like, "Just put a corset on, but don't, don't tighten it up." And they, like, walked in and they just wanted to...

That was the first thing they wanted to do was, like, just tighten that up and then talk.

But you had to learn to live again.

Why not?

You want your shoulders covered.

You want [laughs] you wanna look...

You tuck your shirt in.

Like, your boots better be clean.

And I'm, like, walking horses out into the mud and doing all kinds of crazy shit, and I have to be clean all the time, and it's just a different world, but I've worked for a lot of people.

I've worked for probably 15 plus trainers.

It's part of the community.

Mm-hmm

... that has enough room for a yard to host our friends and have a big, abundant garden.

My rich life is to travel abroad twice a year.

Uh, okay, I'll ch- I'll choose two places.

[laughs] I wanna go to Thailand, and I wanna go to France.

And-Three times a year trips within the US or within the state that we're living in.

So I wanna go to the Northwest, and I want to go to New York, and I wanna go on a river trip just like we did last weekend, and I wanna go on a backpacking trip.

So just more reflection and learning more about my relationship with money, and it's been great to be able to have more conversations with Nikki about it and to learn how she can learn better, um, in bite-sized pieces and just taking it slow so that she can feel empowered and not overwhelmed and shut down.

And then I noticed it come out right on cam.

No, it's just...

I can flush it, though, if you want, if that makes you feel better.

What is that?

So it is a phototherapy patch.

So it uses your body's own light signature to refract life at a diff- light at a different, um, ray.

So it's called photobiomodulation.