Work Life Boundaries | Work & Life Balance, Burnout, Mom Rage, Survival Mode, Bible Reading
Oct 7, 2026 · 20 min · 8 segments
*Part 1 of 3: The Ugly Side of Burnout* Today I'm kicking off a series I knew I'd eventually have to talk about, even though I didn't want to. It's the part of my burnout story I'd rather leave out…
So let me take you back to me that I used to hide.
Out in the work world, I was the one holding it all together.
A career where I wore many, many hats, [laughs] which I was genuinely good at.
Literally, I prided myself for being the person that could flip between things quickly or, you know, be the point person on a project.
I have a husband and kids that I adore with everything in me, a home that I try to run like it was a small operation, and a calendar that very rarely had space at all.
[laughs] So from the outside, I looked fine.
I'm capable.
I am dependable.
I'm the one who remembers all the details.
I book all the appointments, and, and quickly, you know, I fix things, probably before anyone has even noticed that it's broken.
But underneath all of that, I was bracing.
I always braced, like, you know, some part of me was standing at the window waiting for the next thing to go wrong.
Because if I stopped watching for even a second, the whole thing might just come crashing down.
[laughs] Ugh, it took me years to understand that this is not a personality.
That was survival mode.
You know, when you've lived braced for long enough, something has to give.
And for me, it came out in my words and in my solemn attitude.
I had a short fuse.
My irritation, you know, it grew quickly, and it festered.
And the tighter that I gripped at everything around me, trying to keep my life from losing its footing, the less control I actually had, which [laughs] is...
It's like the cruelest math there is, because I genuinely believed that I...
You know, if I just held on tighter, I would finally feel safe, and all I really did was word vomit and draw myself into further frustration and shame.
My anger was not only something I was feeling, it was something I was handing to the people nearest to me, the ones that loved me the most.
And for years I told myself that it was just stress, and it was exhaustion, and oftentimes it was because I carried so much at work that when I came home and kept carrying more, because I'm a mom and all the things that I had to do, I would not, you know...
And I, I would not let go of the grasp of control.
So let me take you back to me that I used to hide.
Out in the work world, I was the one holding it all together.
A career where I wore many, many hats, [laughs] which I was genuinely good at.
Literally, I prided myself for being the person that could flip between things quickly or, you know, be the point person on a project.
I have a husband and kids that I adore with everything in me, a home that I try to run like it was a small operation, and a calendar that very rarely had space at all.
[laughs] So from the outside, I looked fine.
I'm capable.
I am dependable.
I'm the one who remembers all the details.
I book all the appointments, and, and quickly, you know, I fix things, probably before anyone has even noticed that it's broken.
But underneath all of that, I was bracing.
I always braced, like, you know, some part of me was standing at the window waiting for the next thing to go wrong.
Because if I stopped watching for even a second, the whole thing might just come crashing down.
[laughs] Ugh, it took me years to understand that this is not a personality.
That was survival mode.
You know, when you've lived braced for long enough, something has to give.
And for me, it came out in my words and in my solemn attitude.
I had a short fuse.
My irritation, you know, it grew quickly, and it festered.
And the tighter that I gripped at everything around me, trying to keep my life from losing its footing, the less control I actually had, which [laughs] is...
It's like the cruelest math there is, because I genuinely believed that I...
You know, if I just held on tighter, I would finally feel safe, and all I really did was word vomit and draw myself into further frustration and shame.
My anger was not only something I was feeling, it was something I was handing to the people nearest to me, the ones that loved me the most.
And for years I told myself that it was just stress, and it was exhaustion, and oftentimes it was because I carried so much at work that when I came home and kept carrying more, because I'm a mom and all the things that I had to do, I would not, you know...
And I, I would not let go of the grasp of control.
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