S1 Ep 17 Gen X

Yes, absolutely.

And the asking for help, I mean, it's a muscle that never got developed, you know, you have to work on it to be able to do it.

I also have a theory that, you know, behind every person who gives all their help to everybody, right? Like you're doing your thing and you're doing it and you're doing it and you're doing it.

It's a trauma response, honestly, where You were not safe unless the room was safe.

And so your focus goes not you personally, but, you know, generally your focus goes on the people around you.

So if everybody else is OK, they'll leave me alone.

I'll be fine.

And that's kind of the thing.

But at the end of the day, who's there for you? So not only do you not learn to ask for help as you're growing up, because that's just, you know, what's wrong with you.

But now there's nothing left for you at the end anyway.

And everybody just validates by saying, Oh, you're such a strong person.

You're so capable.

Here, let me give you more to do.

Meanwhile, we're drowning.

I think it was conditioned out of us, this idea that asking for...

I mean, okay, one of the reasons I don't ask for help, and I will hold my hand up and be completely transparent about this, is because I can do it better, faster, and I don't have to stand over you and tell you 30 times how I want it done.

And I think that's something that was bred into us, conditioned into us, that if you do it yourself, you're more efficient.

Yeah.

And it's kind of like, okay, cool.

But that still means I have to do it.

And so it's not just the asking for help, but it's receiving help when people actually want to help you because it's not done in the precise way that you know it needs to be done.

And I think a lot of us struggle with letting go.

Well, there's a vulnerability there, right? And I mean, sometimes even deciphering, discerning where do I need to let go or where could I let go? Who would be a good person to help me here? It's like, I don't know.

That's a lot to think about.

I'll just do it.