Sep 16, 2026 · 32 min · 8 segments
What does it take to lead when you can’t control everything? How do we create the conditions for people to flourish? And what changes when we stop trying to be right and start becoming more open to…
Chris Baréz-BrownHostAnd obviously it's very touching because obviously the family relationship, the challenges that he has had and what he's overcome.
But what I'm particularly interested in is a couple of things in that story.
You created the weather for him to be himself, to be celebrated, to be seen, and actually therefore connect more with you and ultimately the family.
To do that in that moment when actually reactivity is what we're designed for, you know, the military, the father thing coming through and say, actually, you know, look at my beautiful house.
Yeah, definitely.
How do you get the space and the sense to choose differently in a moment that's so strong as
that? I'm going to answer with a lot of hindsight.
The first one is breath.
Yeah.
And everyone's listening to this going to go, oh, God, not breath again.
But it is.
It's oxygen in that system.
I'm doing it now and I'm actually replaying the moment.
I remember the and in the moment and suddenly oxygenating your brain.
It's the interrupting, getting to your prefrontal cortex.
That's the critical thing.
And I think step by step, hey, I learned that.
I learned that through my own childhood trauma.
And it was a key that I hadn't used to unlock this particular door.
So in my family system, my parents had a pretty horrible, horrific breakup to their relationship.
And there's a lot of messy stuff that doesn't need to be tabled here that happened there.
But in that process, step by step, I learned early.
And obviously it's very touching because obviously the family relationship, the challenges that he has had and what he's overcome.
But what I'm particularly interested in is a couple of things in that story.
You created the weather for him to be himself, to be celebrated, to be seen, and actually therefore connect more with you and ultimately the family.
To do that in that moment when actually reactivity is what we're designed for, you know, the military, the father thing coming through and say, actually, you know, look at my beautiful house.
Yeah, definitely.
How do you get the space and the sense to choose differently in a moment that's so strong as
that? I'm going to answer with a lot of hindsight.
The first one is breath.
Yeah.
And everyone's listening to this going to go, oh, God, not breath again.
But it is.
It's oxygen in that system.
I'm doing it now and I'm actually replaying the moment.
I remember the and in the moment and suddenly oxygenating your brain.
It's the interrupting, getting to your prefrontal cortex.
That's the critical thing.
And I think step by step, hey, I learned that.
I learned that through my own childhood trauma.
And it was a key that I hadn't used to unlock this particular door.
So in my family system, my parents had a pretty horrible, horrific breakup to their relationship.
And there's a lot of messy stuff that doesn't need to be tabled here that happened there.
But in that process, step by step, I learned early.
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