When You Stop Needing Sex, You Take The Pressure Off It #432

You might be doing it with your wife, where you say, "I need her to have this reaction, otherwise I will lose confidence.

Otherwise I will feel devastated and not know what to do." Right? That's an example of outsourcing to your wife.

You might be outsourcing your power to sex, where you say things like, "Sex is my way to feel connection and love.

If I don't get sex, I can't feel connected or loved." You might say, "I need Viagra to function in the bedroom.

I can't have sex without Viagra.

I won't get hard.

I can't get hard without it." And now you're dependent on Viagra.

You might say things like, "I need the perfect thing to say, and I can't start until I know exactly what to say." Right? That's just another mental way of looking at it like, "I need this before I can do this or in order to feel this.

It has to be perfect." And there are so many of you doing this, outsourcing your power and thinking that this is how it needs to be when it, when it doesn't.

And it's, it's why a lot of you put so much pressure on your sex life.

Because if you are needing external things to work a certain way, whether that external thing is a person like your wife or having sex, which requires your wife to be-- to take part in that, or Viagra, which is a supplement, right? It's not something you have total control over.

You, you're handing your power away and you're losing trust in yourself at the same time, right? Whenever you hand your power away to something or someone, you lose trust in yourself.

You see yourself as less capable.

You don't trust yourself to be able to handle things because these external things have been handling as far as you're concerned.

So you're like, "Yeah, I can't do that.

I need this." So I'm not saying to ignore your human needs, okay? I'm not saying that you shouldn't need sex.

That's not what this is about.

This is about you having multiple doors, multiple options to provide you with things that help you feel the way you wanna feel.

'Cause in life, we're just chasing feelings.

When we're afraid of something, we're just afraid of a feeling.

That's what it comes down to.

So we're either chasing feelings or terrified of feelings, but that's what it comes down to.

And you feel the way you feel based on how you interpret reality around you.

That's why some people can have the same exact thing happen to them, but if they respond differently, their lives can be drastically different.

One person can be totally happy, right? Even if they have no legs, right? They lost their legs.