Jul 2, 2026 · 25 min · 8 segments
Join us in this episode where we discuss the important of validate in a relationship, and the ways we may feel invalidate by our partner. Trauma Free Relationship Website…
Tom PhilpHost
Identity, as I mentioned, is about being able to how you see yourself versus how your partner might see you.
There's another way that certain people in the literature talk about it, right? So one of the ways is sort of subjective experience.
that have led up to the way you experience yourself in a day-to-day manner, in an ongoing manner and across different people in different situations.
The way we see ourself is highly dependent on what is reflected back to us from others.
You might have heard the saying that oftentimes you are reflected in your partner's eyes.
And if you reflected back, what you see is somebody that doesn't understand your experience, that doesn't get where you're coming from, that doesn't understand the uniqueness or your own history or why you might have thought the way you did and what led up to certain decisions, then there are aspects of you that feel very unseen.
We can have one or even both parents, oftentimes, that don't see us for who we are.
We have to work through the ways we've protected ourselves from not being seen because it's painful.
But deep down, we all yearn for the same thing, which is, can you see me? Can you see me and can you accept me for who I am? And so that's a little bit of the crucial answer we're asking.
When we have a strong attachment tie to our partner, a safe, secure attachment tie, oftentimes what that means is that our partner can validate our unique experience.
Identity, as I mentioned, is about being able to how you see yourself versus how your partner might see you.
There's another way that certain people in the literature talk about it, right? So one of the ways is sort of subjective experience.
that have led up to the way you experience yourself in a day-to-day manner, in an ongoing manner and across different people in different situations.
The way we see ourself is highly dependent on what is reflected back to us from others.
You might have heard the saying that oftentimes you are reflected in your partner's eyes.
And if you reflected back, what you see is somebody that doesn't understand your experience, that doesn't get where you're coming from, that doesn't understand the uniqueness or your own history or why you might have thought the way you did and what led up to certain decisions, then there are aspects of you that feel very unseen.
We can have one or even both parents, oftentimes, that don't see us for who we are.
We have to work through the ways we've protected ourselves from not being seen because it's painful.
But deep down, we all yearn for the same thing, which is, can you see me? Can you see me and can you accept me for who I am? And so that's a little bit of the crucial answer we're asking.
When we have a strong attachment tie to our partner, a safe, secure attachment tie, oftentimes what that means is that our partner can validate our unique experience.
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