Tom Philp

And we need to be able to understand, so why do people who love each other repeatedly create experiences that hurt them? Why does a relatively small disagreement sometimes become sort of an existential threat? to the relationship, like almost a relationship-ending kind of conversation? And why can one partner's attempt to get closer feel like an attack to the other? Welcome to Trauma-Free Relationship.

I'm Tom Philp, and I've been working with couples for decades to help them break their painful patterns that keep them stuck so they can communicate better, repair more quickly, and stay connected longer.

Okay, we're talking about high conflict couples here.

And as I said, these aren't all the couples.

Welcome to Trauma Free Relationship.

I'm Tom Philp, and I've been working with couples for decades to help them break their painful patterns that keep them stuck so that they can communicate better, repair more quickly, and stay connected longer.

Okay.

As I said, we're gonna unpack this idea of mutual recognition.

He was part of the bloodbath that McClatchy had that... you know wiped out their entire editorial team which is a shame because he is truly one of the best editorial opinion writers in the world part of a pulitzer prize winning team if you needed more proof of that he did a recent series of stories before he left to be on behavioral health uh around sacramento that are this really can't miss reading you really need to check it out if you haven't It's still readily available on the Bee website, among other places.

And then we're going to go right to a conversation that we had with a gentleman named Ken Monroe, who is the head of the Family Business Association here in California.

Had some really interesting things to talk about on issues that impact small family businesses.

So not necessarily even just small family businesses, but family businesses in general.

So we'll We're going to bring you those conversations here in just a moment.

But Leah, we have a couple of things on the website right now that I hope are listeners will be interested in you know we still have readily available the stories that you did on the spark of name image likeness and its growth and where it could be going it is interesting i've had a couple of people compliment me on the headline that we did on the first story which was uh beyond here there be dragons and i've had to say that wasn't my headline my my reporter came up with that headline so hey good job people people like what you did with that

And it takes a lot of empathy as a reporter to be able to tell these stories.

And, you know, I mentioned before, I mentioned Dan Moraine and Sigrid Bothan.

So I took that information and I thought, "Well, it might be kind of interesting to walk you, the listener, through what does a couples therapist actually think about when working with their couples?" Welcome to Trauma Free Relationship.

I'm Tom Philp, and I've been working with couples for decades to help them break their painful patterns that keep them stuck so they can communicate better, repair more quickly, and stay connected longer.

Okay, I thought we would dive in, and the first thing I want to cover is what couples therapy is not.

Because I think a lot of times, and I have people say this when they come, and I have to sort of redirect their thinking a little bit because oftentimes they think couples therapy is something that it's simply not.

Welcome to Trauma Free Relationship.

I'm Tom Philp, and I've been working with couples for decades to help them break their painful patterns that keep them stuck so they can communicate better, repair more quickly, and stay connected longer.

Okay.

As I said in the opening, we're gonna talk a little bit differently today about what your relationship patterns and style might be as opposed to saying what your attachment style is.

Everyone but Marcos.

Marcos, I don't know what you did to stay on, but everyone, including Pulitzer winner Tom Philp, it's just kind of wild to see.

Not just that, the entire sports writing crew at the B.

So there's Joe Davidson covered... um, high school sports for like, like forever, for as long as any of us have been alive here.

Um, but like the hangout, it was really cool actually.

Like it was a one-on-one, but, but then as the night went on, um, it turned out into like all of these incredible, um, people around Robin, not just her friends, but her colleagues, many of whom had also just been let go coming out there.

And I found myself sitting between two Pulitzer winning boomers in Jack Omen, the old cartoonist at the V and Tom Philp, who was let go alongside Robin.

And Tom Philp is an opinion writer.

What does attachment get wrong about relationships? Welcome to Trauma-Free Relationship.

I'm Tom Philp, and I've been working with couples for decades to help them break their painful patterns that keep them stuck so that they can communicate better, repair more quickly, and stay connected longer.

And if you're new to this show, be sure to like and follow and subscribe, whatever it is that you need to do, so that you'll get notifications when new episodes drop each week.

All right, let's dive in.