High-Conflict Couple
Oct 22, 2026 · 25 min · 8 segments
Learn what high-conflict couples look like, and the 10 things to help them. Trauma Free Relationship Website: https://traumafreerelationship.com/ **FREE…
- Speakers
Tom PhilpHost
Oct 22, 2026 · 25 min · 8 segments
Learn what high-conflict couples look like, and the 10 things to help them. Trauma Free Relationship Website: https://traumafreerelationship.com/ **FREE…
Tom PhilpHost
I wouldn't even say they're nearly half, but certainly there is a portion of my clientele over the last 15, 20 years that I would categorize as high conflict couples.
And oftentimes, one or both partners can be very quick to be dysregulated, which can then dysregulate the other partner.
And it can be very difficult when they become dysregulated to be able to really see what's going on and what feels most threatening in the relationship.
Now, let me just say this about dysregulation because it's so much a driver of high conflict couples.
When those beats per minute reach 100 or over, we go into what is called fight or flight.
And what happens then is the neuronal activity in our prefrontal cortex, that area right behind our forehead, it begins to slow down.
And the firing that happens in our brain happens in what we call the amygdala and the brainstem area.
So within millimeters of a second, we can go from being somewhat calm and rational to being very dysregulated.
And the dysregulation might be what we call upregulation, meaning that we go into fight or flight.
You're dysregulated, but you tend to move towards it in order to try to resolve the issue.
Another type of dysregulation is what we call the fawn response or the freeze response.
I wouldn't even say they're nearly half, but certainly there is a portion of my clientele over the last 15, 20 years that I would categorize as high conflict couples.
And oftentimes, one or both partners can be very quick to be dysregulated, which can then dysregulate the other partner.
And it can be very difficult when they become dysregulated to be able to really see what's going on and what feels most threatening in the relationship.
Now, let me just say this about dysregulation because it's so much a driver of high conflict couples.
When those beats per minute reach 100 or over, we go into what is called fight or flight.
And what happens then is the neuronal activity in our prefrontal cortex, that area right behind our forehead, it begins to slow down.
And the firing that happens in our brain happens in what we call the amygdala and the brainstem area.
So within millimeters of a second, we can go from being somewhat calm and rational to being very dysregulated.
And the dysregulation might be what we call upregulation, meaning that we go into fight or flight.
You're dysregulated, but you tend to move towards it in order to try to resolve the issue.
Another type of dysregulation is what we call the fawn response or the freeze response.
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