Nobody Talks About This Part Of Sobriety...

Such an interesting point though, isn't it? Because I think you're right.

I think you sort of, that juxtaposition has to be there at the beginning.

You need the structure and you need the rigidity and you need everything.

But you're right.

There's like, there's fun and a bit of naughtiness and there's fun and a bit of rebellion.

What does that look like as a sober person? Because obviously you don't want to be drinking.

You don't want to be taking drugs.

So for you, what does that hedonistic nature look like? And I'm going to ask you the same question afterwards and then you can ask me.

I'm really looking forward to hear your answers because I don't know.

I think that's the quest I'm on.

What does it look like without drink or drugs? I think it's something about playfulness and spontaneity.

I forgot how to play when I first got

sober

or at least in kind of my mid twenties, it was serious.

It was responsibility.

It was taking care of myself.

So it's finding playfulness, finding a sense of aliveness.

And when I think about times where I've experienced that, it's often like I think about Tom the other day when we were at jujitsu, he grabbed me from behind on my neck and we were playing around and we're laughing and joking.

It's using aggression in a healthy way.

It's risk taking by climbing the sea cliffs.

I'm an addict, right? Like I'm going to find a thrill.

And I'm learning more recently that I don't have to be afraid of that.

The thrill just can't be a line of cocaine and a nightclub in London.

It has to be something richer.

But it doesn't have to be domestication.