Episode 06: Supporting my Ageing Parents - A Daughter's Journey

That was a lot there.

This is how it ends up going, right? And Mike, as I listen to all of that and try and imagine myself going through that admin, which is not fun at all.

I'm sorry for your loss, Francesca, of your dad.

Mike, as you listen to that, I'm hearing stuff like having investments consolidated, knowing where they are, wills, clean exit, Francesca's wording there, avoiding fights with siblings.

There's a lot there.

And from your side, Mike, what would you want to just highlight there as being just good practice to try and make that really hard thing a lot easier?

Listen, this is in an ideal world.

Remember, you're dealing with people and there's all sorts of dynamics at play and we see them all.

The best outcome is to engage with your children early, get them involved, be transparent, let them know how your finances are.

You're going to have to get past any potential embarrassment or whatever your emotional concerns are around having these discussions with your children.

If you don't have the discussion early and upfront when everybody is capable of having it around what investments you have, how you'd like your later years to be, then there becomes a crisis.

And the burden on the children is quite heavy.

And then the burden on the children becomes the burden on the child that is most closest to the parents in terms of geography.

And that too, no matter how well your siblings get on, it does cause an element of conflict.

Because somebody is sitting overseas saying, just keep me posted.

And meanwhile, the other sibling down here is sweating it out every day, having to leave work to sort out some issue.

So I actually think being transparent with your kids, letting them know what your situation is, explaining to them what your preferences are, maybe getting a power of attorney in order now, setting up your will and saying, This child is going to be the executor for these reasons, but I want you all to know what's going on.

I mean, I've had a situation now where great family, the father's now 90, the one sibling's in Europe and the one sibling's here.

The sibling here is the executor and has the power of attorney.

And the other sibling phoned me out of the blue the other day to tell me that she'd like to know What's going on? Because she hasn't been included.

And I don't think it's because of any malice on anybody's behalf.

It's just that it's got to the point where one person's dealing with it and other sibling feels they're out the loop.

So I think you can avoid a lot of this type of conflict by dealing with it early and dealing with it transparently.

And bringing in a Mike, having someone like Mike really makes a difference because it took my parents a little bit of time to trust Mike.

But because we trusted him, that really helped them to trust him too.