What Actually Makes a Blended Family Work? What the Research Says

What if some of the things you've been told a blended family should look like are actually making things harder? This episode is a special one pulled straight from our recent Stepmom Summit, where I sat down with three of the leading researchers in the stepfamily field to talk about how to make a blended family work based on what the research actually says, not what Instagram, your neighbor, or the Brady Bunch would have you believe. Dr. Brad van Eeden-Moorefield is a professor of family science and human development at Montclair State University whose research looks at how stigma, culture, policy, and the expectations placed on families affect real stepfamily relationships. Dr. Bailey M. Oliver-Blackburn is an associate professor at the University of Arkansas at Little Rock who studies stepfamily communication, conflict transformation, and family resilience, including what happens when children move between homes with very different rules, beliefs, and values. Dr. Todd Jensen is a professor at UNC Chapel Hill and director of the Thriving Through Family Transitions Research Lab. Much of his work focuses on what helps kids thrive in stepfamilies and how strong relationships between stepparents and stepchildren actually develop. And between the three of them, there is a LOT of research to unpack. ### In This Episode, We Talk About: - Why there is no single right way to be a stepparent and what actually matters more for building a strong relationship with your stepkids - What research says helps kids thrive in blended families, including warmth, timing, connection, choice, and learning to "read the room" - How to navigate very different rules, routines, beliefs, and values between two households without making your stepchild feel stuck in the middle - Why stepfamilies are not broken versions of first families and what decades of research tell us about creating relationships that work for your family If you've ever wondered whether you're doing this whole blended family thing wrong, this conversation may completely change the way you look at your family. There isn't one perfect formula. There are many paths to strong relationships, and the research is finally catching up to what stepfamilies have needed to hear for a long time. ### Want More From the 2026 Stepmom Summit? Get access to all of this year's Stepmom Summit recordings for just $97 and catch the sessions you missed or rewatch your favorites before the offer ends October 4th, 2026 at 11:59 PM ET: https://thestepmomsummit.com/rs-upgrade-purchase ### Resources From This Episode Dr. Brad van Eeden-Moorefield: https://inside.montclair.edu/directory/brad-van-eeden-moorefield  Dr. Bailey M. Oliver-Blackburn: https://baileyoliverblackburn.com/  Dr. Todd Jensen: https://www.instagram.com/drtoddjensen/  ### Love The Stepmom Diaries? Please consider rating and reviewing The Stepmom Diaries on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. Your feedback helps the show grow and reach more blended families who need honest conversations like this one.