A True Giver

And let's try to go one step further, okay? So we saw from Emnos and Vachfogel, based on a Gemara in Pesachim, that the beginning stages of growth has to begin with a level of what we call Chadoi Nafshoi, La'anoscha L'toiboscha, That a person has to serve Hashem and do Avodah Hashem in a way that he has a cheshik and he has a rotzim.

He has a desire to do it.

In one place, Rabbi Nosson says, this is in Parshas Baaloyzcha, if you want to look it up.

He says that the way we have to succeed in Avodah Hashem is, B'derech she'odim roitz leylech, mo'ilich enoyzim.

Means you have to first have a Rotzen.

And the success is that Hashem reciprocates.

That means you produce.

You produce based on the fact that Hashem reciprocates to your Rotzen.

That means it has to begin with your Cheshik and your Rotzen.

And then the success comes as a milui of your ratan.

So you see, again, that concept of growth has to happen through an internal desire, connection, and that's how you succeed.

We explained that this really means that your avodah to Hashem is atsmih.

That means it's real.

It's you.

It's not something you're doing or a behavior, external thing.

It's really coming from an internal self, which we can say that it defines you.

It is you.

And that's why Rav Nosson over there in Parshas Baal Yisrael says, the concept that we get more schar when you do something b'tza'ar.

Right? Chazal tells us when you do something with pain, when it's difficult, when it's challenging...

You get more s'char.

Why is that? The way he explains it is because when there's a challenge and there's a tsar, it becomes more you.

And when it's really you, that's when you become doymet to Hashem.

Because Hashem is midisat, miusay.

And then if you are real and it's you, it's really you, then you connect more.

You connect more.