What if Balance Was Never the Goal?

So I love the vulnerability in everything you shared, and I think that it's, it's, like you said, rare, but really relatable at the same time, right? Because I think we could, we could have all the ingredients of what is the picture of success, and then, w- then life throws in a curveball, right? And then that purpose pivot happens.

And I do think it's important that people realize and embrace that realization that you don't define purpose just once, right? There's different seasons of life.

So, but I wanna start with first in the conversation with you is the thought of the achievement trap, right? And I think that that's a, like, a tension we all, um, can grapple with, right? And your, your book, Balance Is Bullshit, it's a bold statement, but, you know, I think it's, it's a freeing one at the same time, right? So what, what made you decide that balance was kind of the wrong goal altogether?

You know, I've, I've seen myself and so many women trying to keep it all in the air, trying to keep all these plates spinning and achieve this balance like it was the ultimate goal, it was the destination.

And it was have the big title, have the big salary, have the corner office.

You know, have the beautiful house, the kids in sports, be the team mom, the house- the, you know, the classroom mom.

It's almost like society impose- imposes, 'cause I th- I still think it happens, imposes these expectations on us like we're supposed to be able to do it all and be superhuman.

And for me, walking into my office on that day I got fired, I actually subliminally was saying to myself, "Oh my God, I, I don't think I can keep this up." And I didn't know what I was gonna be able to let go of, but I just knew I was exhausted, it wasn't sustainable, I was feeling really conflicted about leaving the kids for 100 days of travel.

I was not able to take a vacation and actually unplug.

I always felt like I kinda out of the corner of my eye had to be checking things to make sure, because in retail, you know, the, the store is never closed.

The customers are always being served some way, somehow.

So I think that for the women that I have worked with, there's a version of this for all of us, and we're, we're being told to pursue and balance all of these things, and it's completely unrealistic.

Life doesn't work that way.

Life has seasons, and if you actually try and juggle all those things at one time, you get one of two things: burnout or mediocrity.

And so what I realized, and why I think I've pulled the covers back on this myth of balance and called it [laughs] bullshit, is because I think what we're craving is permission to stop doing some of these things, permission to say no, permission to step back in career, permission to not volunteer, permission to take care of yourself.

And all of those things, for some reason, come weighted with guilt.

And I wrote Balance Is Bullshit to show and, and to kind of, like, project a different form of success.

It's just, it's my story.

It's my roadmap.

It's my framework.

But I think it gives people permission, which is what people need, to let go of this myth of balance and do it your way.

There's no one right way.