Craving The Unavailable – Milica Jelenic

So today I thought, why not talk about something? Well, I think it started because I was like, And so I was like, let's talk about craving and craving the unavailable.

It's like, you know, when you really want ice cream and it's too far away because you live in the middle of buttfuck nowhere and it would take you like 45 minutes to get to the ice cream you want.

Well, that's like craving the unavailable.

But we're talking today on this show about craving the unavailable, mostly when you're craving the person that's unavailable.

And why that is, why do we have these cravings of things that are not available and and people that are not available, what it is to our neuro neurochemistry.

And why do, why do we do that? Like what, what, why are we doing it kids? So why do you want what you can't have? Like, it's like when you're little and your parents are like, don't put your hand in the cookie jar.

So you have to, you have to know why the why behind the why can't I? And the more you're probably told, no, the more you're like, Ooh, but I want to know why no.

And then it becomes you know for a while it's a craving but then you might be craving it for a very long time and then that craving becomes like an obsession.

And you know that that thing you're craving is something you can't have and it's so out of reach but you're like but I crave it so much.

So we're going to be looking at, like, why do we crave these things? You know, what happens to us when we crave them? What's, you know, a whole bunch of different aspects of craving the unavailable.

For those of you who are new and you're like, well, this isn't the sexiest topic for a show called The Pleasure Zone.

Oh, but it is actually, kids.

But there are sexier topics, too.

If you want to listen to things about kink or If you want to listen to shows about that, well, pretty much everything from like the history, the mystery, the psychology, the sociology of all things human sexuality.

You can find this on any number of episodes of The Pleasure Zone.

So you can go back and look at all the titles and choose what works for you.

And if you're still listening, fantastic.

You might be craving the unavailable.

You might be craving something that's so far out of reach.

And I found that I became a craving for people.

Once I got married, it was like all of a sudden I was more sexy to people than I've ever been in my entire life.

And it's because I'm not available.

And what does that do? It creates kind of like a a thing where you know you can't have it but you want it so it's like safe it's a safe thing to desire something that you can't have because then you don't have to actually take responsibility of when you have it to treat it well to put in the effort to have the relationship all the other things the fantasy becomes more of of the fun thing rather than the reality right so If you really are wanting, and wanting is such a fascinating word, and a lot of writings in English that use the word want back in like prior to 1946, use the word want as in lack, something that you don't have.

And so wanting a person, or feeling like the lack of a person who is not available either emotionally, physically, spiritually, relationally, available what is it what is it that hasn't you know people want somebody that's not available and what if you're you know wanting something because you're like i want it because i see a future possibility but it's not available right now that can be very frustrating too because you can know that it's coming that it's not there it's like when you're a kid at christmas and you're like i know that ask for my presence and every year i get the presence i want or not and lots of times i didn't but you know your hope the hope of i'm going to get the present i want and then when it comes through you're like yay i got it but the waiting uh can be really frustrating so wanting something and having to wait for it because it's not currently available can be really frustrating and then wanting a relationship with somebody because we think they're the answer or somehow being with them, we're going to feel better.

They're going to feel better.