The Burnout Doctor: Why So Many Mothers Think They're Failing (When It's Actually Burnout)

[upbeat music] It's almost such a structural challenge, isn't it? It's almost like it makes complete sense to me that that would be-

Mm

...

the result.

And it's really interesting that you're reflecting that back to me because when I see it laid out objectively, it makes total sense-

Yes

... that I ended up burnt out.

[laughs]

Yeah.

But at the time, it didn't make sense, and I really felt that I was to blame for the fact that I couldn't cope.

Mm.

And, you know, being a doctor, patient care is really what drove me.

And when I felt like I was starting to struggle, I went back to type, which is what you're taught from day one at medical school, or at least I was, which is if you've got problems and things are not working out, you just work harder.

You study more.

You commit more to your work.

And unfortunately, and I didn't realize this at the time, was that in over-committing and, and trying to work harder and blaming myself, it just perpetuated that burnout spiral of, of negative work behaviors that meant that I felt more stressed, so then I felt more stressed, so then I did those things more-

Yeah

... and then I ended up in a crisis point.

Yeah.

Well, 'cause it's so counterintuitive when we're stressed, I think, and I see this, you know, with many mothers in our community, wherever that stress is coming from, "I'll just get up earlier.

I'll just work harder."

Mm-hmm.

"I'll just..." We think that the way out of stress is to do more, when in fact, it is to do less, but that is so counterintuitive.

Mm-hmm.

What were some of the flags? And what did you think was wrong? Because I think people listening might relate to that, "Oh, I, I thought it was anxiety," or, "I thought it was..." What did you think it was, and what were those symptoms that made you come to that conclusion?

[upbeat music] It's almost such a structural challenge, isn't it? It's almost like it makes complete sense to me that that would be-

Mm

...

the result.

And it's really interesting that you're reflecting that back to me because when I see it laid out objectively, it makes total sense-

Yes

... that I ended up burnt out.

[laughs]

Yeah.

But at the time, it didn't make sense, and I really felt that I was to blame for the fact that I couldn't cope.

Mm.

And, you know, being a doctor, patient care is really what drove me.

And when I felt like I was starting to struggle, I went back to type, which is what you're taught from day one at medical school, or at least I was, which is if you've got problems and things are not working out, you just work harder.

You study more.

You commit more to your work.

And unfortunately, and I didn't realize this at the time, was that in over-committing and, and trying to work harder and blaming myself, it just perpetuated that burnout spiral of, of negative work behaviors that meant that I felt more stressed, so then I felt more stressed, so then I did those things more-

Yeah

... and then I ended up in a crisis point.

Yeah.

Well, 'cause it's so counterintuitive when we're stressed, I think, and I see this, you know, with many mothers in our community, wherever that stress is coming from, "I'll just get up earlier.

I'll just work harder."

Mm-hmm.

"I'll just..." We think that the way out of stress is to do more, when in fact, it is to do less, but that is so counterintuitive.

Mm-hmm.

What were some of the flags? And what did you think was wrong? Because I think people listening might relate to that, "Oh, I, I thought it was anxiety," or, "I thought it was..." What did you think it was, and what were those symptoms that made you come to that conclusion?