And now sitting in for Ted Baxter
Aug 26, 2026 · 22 min · 10 segments
209
- Speakers
- JoshHost
Aug 26, 2026 · 22 min · 10 segments
209
Panning into the newsroom, we find our beloved Mary knocking on Lou's door, and Lou handing her a memo, and it's the ratings.
And Mary thought, "Oh, great," but they're at the bottom, so Lou of course is not happy.
And apparently, Mary has come in to see Lou about Ted's vacation, and Mary is explaining that he hasn't had a vacation in four years.
"Isn't that as long as he's worked here?" And Lou says, "Only four years? It seems longer." And Mary points out that, "Mr.
Grant, we're in violation of his union contract if he doesn't get at least two weeks off every year." And Lou says, "His contract calls for him to be a newsman.
He's in violation every time he opens his mouth." The audience gets a laugh out of that, of course.
And Mary says, "Well, shouldn't somebody talk to him about taking a vacation?" And Lou says, "Yeah, let me know how it turns out." And Mary says, "All right." And then we pan out to the newsroom where Murray and Ted are getting ready for the Super Bowl betting.
They've got a whole square thing set up.
I think it's a little early to talk about Super Bowl betting since it's November, but whatever.
Mary-- Ted asks Mary if she'd like to get in on the pool, and Mary says, "No, I never win those things." And Mary wants to talk to Ted, and she says, "I was just going over some records, and you realize how much vacation time you have coming." And Ted excuses himself.
He's gonna have a cup of coffee, and Mary follows him since he didn't even leave the room.
And Ted just keeps saying, "No, thank you.
I'm good.
No." "Well, if you don't want any coffee, I'll be excusing myself now, thank you." And Ted walks away.
Mary asks, "What's the matter with Ted?" And walks back into Mr.
Grant's office and says, "You couldn't nail him, right?" And Lou says, "Figure it out.
If you were Ted Baxter and did the news the way he does, would you leave? Believe me, nobody needs Ted's vacation more than I do." And Mary says, "Well, we could all use Ted's vacation." Lou says, "Last year he was all set to go, but at the last minute he got sick and came back to work.
Two years ago, as a little hint," Lou says, "we gave him a party.
He was so touched, he said he couldn't bear to go away." And Mary says, "I have an idea.
What if we put on his cue card, 'This is Ted Baxter saying good night until I return from vacation'?" Lou says, "That's funny.
That's a good idea.
Maybe we ought to try it." And Lou says, "I did.
It didn't work." And now Mary is outside Ted's dressing room.
Panning into the newsroom, we find our beloved Mary knocking on Lou's door, and Lou handing her a memo, and it's the ratings.
And Mary thought, "Oh, great," but they're at the bottom, so Lou of course is not happy.
And apparently, Mary has come in to see Lou about Ted's vacation, and Mary is explaining that he hasn't had a vacation in four years.
"Isn't that as long as he's worked here?" And Lou says, "Only four years? It seems longer." And Mary points out that, "Mr.
Grant, we're in violation of his union contract if he doesn't get at least two weeks off every year." And Lou says, "His contract calls for him to be a newsman.
He's in violation every time he opens his mouth." The audience gets a laugh out of that, of course.
And Mary says, "Well, shouldn't somebody talk to him about taking a vacation?" And Lou says, "Yeah, let me know how it turns out." And Mary says, "All right." And then we pan out to the newsroom where Murray and Ted are getting ready for the Super Bowl betting.
They've got a whole square thing set up.
I think it's a little early to talk about Super Bowl betting since it's November, but whatever.
Mary-- Ted asks Mary if she'd like to get in on the pool, and Mary says, "No, I never win those things." And Mary wants to talk to Ted, and she says, "I was just going over some records, and you realize how much vacation time you have coming." And Ted excuses himself.
He's gonna have a cup of coffee, and Mary follows him since he didn't even leave the room.
And Ted just keeps saying, "No, thank you.
I'm good.
No." "Well, if you don't want any coffee, I'll be excusing myself now, thank you." And Ted walks away.
Mary asks, "What's the matter with Ted?" And walks back into Mr.
Grant's office and says, "You couldn't nail him, right?" And Lou says, "Figure it out.
If you were Ted Baxter and did the news the way he does, would you leave? Believe me, nobody needs Ted's vacation more than I do." And Mary says, "Well, we could all use Ted's vacation." Lou says, "Last year he was all set to go, but at the last minute he got sick and came back to work.
Two years ago, as a little hint," Lou says, "we gave him a party.
He was so touched, he said he couldn't bear to go away." And Mary says, "I have an idea.
What if we put on his cue card, 'This is Ted Baxter saying good night until I return from vacation'?" Lou says, "That's funny.
That's a good idea.
Maybe we ought to try it." And Lou says, "I did.
It didn't work." And now Mary is outside Ted's dressing room.
The rest of this transcript — segmented and speaker-labeled, so you land on the exact moment something was said
Search every transcript — by keyword, by phrase, or by meaning, across every show Radar indexes
Trends — what is surging across podcasts, measured against its own baseline
Alerts — when a name you follow appears in a newly indexed episode
No account is needed to search Radar.
