Dr. Katherine Ramos on Social Connection

So maybe let's just lay some of the groundwork.

The study of adult human development at Harvard, this long running study that looks at longevity, JFK was in the study.

That's how long it's been going.

One of the key findings of that study is that the quality of social connections, the quality of relationships in someone's life tells us a lot about how long they're going to live.

And I think there's, I could be getting this wrong.

There's some crazy finding that says something to the effect of the quality of your relationships at 50 tells us more about how long you're going to live than your cholesterol levels.

Is that true? Is that not true? Either way, I think the importance is how do we define a high quality relationship? Does it mean I've got to be the extrovert that knows tons of people and I'm constantly bouncing around these different social events and that's how I'm going to be healthier and live longer? Or does it mean, no, it could be one relationship, but you just have a great spouse and you've got a really good relationship with that spouse.

What does a high quality relationship mean? So let's just think about the importance of relationships for longevity.

But I'd love your perspective on, okay, which relationships matter, which don't? How do we define a good relationship?

I think that's really great.

So one thing to think about is how we're defining social connection, because it can be quite variable.

And we can kind of get mixed in with all the different types of definitions about it and how it's assessed.

But essentially, when we think about social connection and our relationships, it's how we are having meaningful relationships as well as interactions.

And there's actually three components to it.

One is the size, so our access, our networks that we have socially to connect with people, what it offers you, which is what you are getting at, right? Sort of the, what is an individual receiving from relationship A that might look differently from relationship B, and then it's the quality of that relationship.

And so there is something to be said that when we are in meaningful, supportive relationships, that that makes a huge difference with how we navigate our world.

It makes a huge difference with our mental health and our physical health.

We've seen that good quality relationships can even influence and impact our ability to live longer, which I think you were alluding to with some of these findings.

But how we define that quality is really on us.

So my definition of what a quality relationship looks like might be very different from yours.

And I think what can happen sometimes is that there is this disconnect with knowing what we want and what we need out of a relationship that then makes it feel like, we're receiving what we need in that moment in time.

So in one world, I've got this neighbor who she's just an incredible extrovert.

She knows everybody and she'll chat your ear off and she's very positive.

And so when I think we think of social connection, sometimes we will think of that person.

She's constantly at the events and she's constantly interacting with a wide variety of people.