Meaningful, Customized, Unexpected: Reciprocity That Wins Clients

I love that.

It's kinda like, it's interesting, it's kinda like Maslow's hierarchy of need, where it's like, it's like every layer that you go, th- there's like another why, until it gets to that super introspective look of, you know, you had success, you used these principles, but it's like, wh- what does this mean? Like, what does this all mean? How did you...

What was that first step into the journey of this book?

Well, the first step, uh, as I mentioned, was that question that my daughter asked.

And, and as we had that conversation, and, and I remember telling her a couple things.

The principle of reciprocity, right? Uh, this one is, uh, research-based.

If I do something kind for you, Jason, you've, you probably feel a sense of obligation to want to do something for me, or if I needed a favor, you'd be more apt to do it because I helped you first.

Well, Jesus said it's better to give than receive, right? And, and do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

You're not waiting for them, you're taking the proactive stance, is reciprocity.

The foundation of it is, are those principles that, that Jesus talked about.

Another example I gave her, I said, "You know, Abigail, in, in business I can't necessarily talk about love.

But if I employ the principle of liking the right way, so it's not about me getting you, Craig, to like me.

It's about me doing everything I can to come to like you.

And that when you sense, hey, that guy Brian, he really seems to genuinely care, that's what opens you up to whatever I might ask or propose.

Because we all, I think, deep down believe that friends do right by friends, and when you're looking at me and thinking friend, you're more open." So I, I told her, I said, "The other thing is, though, it, it is causing me to like you, Craig.

And so therefore I put in more time, effort, I'm more creative because I truly want my friends to succeed, too.

And so we've created this virtuous cycle that gets us pretty close to love."

It's like the, uh, hockey stick of love.

It starts, it starts exponentially increasing as you pour more energy into it, right? And it just, it hits that point.

Yep.

And, and then, uh, you know, I've got an article-

The hockey stick

... that'll be coming out in a little while.

But, uh, Cialdini's principle of unity is about a, having a, a deep bond or a shared identity with somebody.

Because when we share an identity, the closest would be family, right? We would do anything for our family.