The '40s Formula' for Breaking Cycles of Resentment and Stress | The Forties Formula

In this episode of The Forties Formula, Jasmin Dhillon and Amanda Lim sit down with Leila Foster, Behaviour Change Strategist and Wellness Architect, to explore why lasting change can be so difficult, even when we genuinely want it. They explore why our brains return to familiar patterns, how chronic stress affects our ability to change, why expectations create resentment, and how to recognise when a trigger isn't actually about you. Finally, Leila shares her 40s formula: stop doing what you're told, make micro-adjustments, know your season, hold your paradox, ask for help, and never outsource your decisions. Chapters: 00:00 — Why knowing isn't enough to create change 02:17 — Your nervous system on a normal Tuesday 04:01 — “Is it about you?” 05:30 — Expectations, stress and resentment 08:17 — The biology of inherited patterns 11:08 — Why knowing isn't the same as changing 11:43 — Stress, the brain and old programming 15:03 — Neuroplasticity and the six pillars of wellness 15:55 — Is the problem the fish or the fish tank? 16:43 — Breaking out of emotional spirals 21:35 — What happens during 9D Breathwork 25:09 — Why the same experience affects us differently 26:32 — When breathwork isn't the answer 28:58 — Divorce and building a blended family 31:40 — Finding a healthier relationship dynamic 35:05 — Sharing the parenting load 39:16 — Running a business with your spouse 42:20 — Working together when you're fighting 44:15 — The calendar invite that can save a relationship 45:54 — Why “we'll talk tomorrow” doesn't work 47:00 — Leila's 40s Formula 47:07 — Stop doing what you're told 48:10 — Embrace the micro-adjustments 48:50 — Balance isn't 50/50 50:13 — Become a student of your own body 51:07 — Hold your paradox 52:13 — Ask for help and don't outsource your decisions About our guest Leila Foster is a Behaviour Change Strategist and Wellness Architect working at the intersection of behaviour change, wellness and nervous-system regulation. She helps people understand the patterns that keep them stuck and create lasting change. About your hosts Jasmin Dhillon is an Integrated Health Strategist and Health Coach helping women in their 40s navigate gut health, hormones and nutrition. https://www.instagram.com/eat.with.jasmin/ Amanda Lim is a Metabolic Health Coach focused on helping women build strength, confidence and long-term health. https://www.instagram.com/coachamanda/ Support the podcast If you enjoy these conversations, subscribe and share this episode with someone navigating stress, motherhood, relationships or change. You can also support the show by Buying Us a Coffee: https://the-forties-formula-with-amanda-jasmin.kit.com/products/buy-us-a-coffee Thank you to our sponsors For Youth Support your skin, recovery, sleep and longevity with The Forties Formula System. Use code TF35 for up to 35% off storewide. https://www.foryouth.co/go/the-forties-formula-system Love Indus Use code TFF for 21% off. https://loveindus.com