The Elisha Show: Purpose Driven Life & Mastery
Oct 12, 2026 · 28 min · 10 segments
On this episode of The Elisha Show, Amb. Elisha speaks with Michael Lauria, a therapist and author, about unconscious patterns, people pleasing, and the struggle to live authentically. Michael…
Michael LauriaGuestElisha ArowojobeHostYou know, it's amazing how this beautiful work of yours can have such a great impact in tons of people, because a lot of people are stuck in wrong patterns one another, like I mentioned earlier.
It was the question, why do we keep on repeating patterns even though we understand them?
Understanding, insight, and awareness happens in-- at the level of the conscious mind.
It doesn't happen at the level of the unconscious, which is where the patterns actually live.
So we keep on repeating these patterns because it's learned behavior over time, and we've learned from a very young child that certain behaviors gets us love and belonging and security and stability, acceptance and validation from others.
And of course, everybody wants to be accepted, everyone wants to be loved, and everyone wants to be validated and approved of by other people in their lives.
And so what do they do? They behave in certain ways that get them the thing that they think that they need.
And what people don't understand, the reason why people continue to repeat the same patterns is because they get the same results.
And until we understand what result are we trying to get, well, I'm trying to be loved, I'm trying to be accepted, I'm trying to belong, I'm trying to feel safe, I'm trying to have some sense of stability in my life.
And so then we automatically and unconsciously do the things that, that, that our life has proven get that, get that response from others.
It shows you how you're acting and behaving and responding to the world to get these things that you think you need.
So that's the reason why people do it, because they're just wanting to get-- They just-- People wanna be loved.
You know, it's amazing how this beautiful work of yours can have such a great impact in tons of people, because a lot of people are stuck in wrong patterns one another, like I mentioned earlier.
It was the question, why do we keep on repeating patterns even though we understand them?
Understanding, insight, and awareness happens in-- at the level of the conscious mind.
It doesn't happen at the level of the unconscious, which is where the patterns actually live.
So we keep on repeating these patterns because it's learned behavior over time, and we've learned from a very young child that certain behaviors gets us love and belonging and security and stability, acceptance and validation from others.
And of course, everybody wants to be accepted, everyone wants to be loved, and everyone wants to be validated and approved of by other people in their lives.
And so what do they do? They behave in certain ways that get them the thing that they think that they need.
And what people don't understand, the reason why people continue to repeat the same patterns is because they get the same results.
And until we understand what result are we trying to get, well, I'm trying to be loved, I'm trying to be accepted, I'm trying to belong, I'm trying to feel safe, I'm trying to have some sense of stability in my life.
And so then we automatically and unconsciously do the things that, that, that our life has proven get that, get that response from others.
It shows you how you're acting and behaving and responding to the world to get these things that you think you need.
So that's the reason why people do it, because they're just wanting to get-- They just-- People wanna be loved.
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