May 25, 2026 · 17 min · 7 segments
You think the problem is the chips.Or the cookies.Or the pizza.Or your “lack of self control.” But what if the real problem isn’t the food itself at all? In this episode, I’m breaking down why so…
Like, one of the most, um, kind of still palpable feelings that I have from when I was, like, in the years of just food obsession was this e- this experience of going to a restaurant and ordering a salad with grilled chicken, hold the croutons, dressing on the side, when I really wanted a club sandwich with fries.
And at the same time as this was happening, I wasn't losing weight, and I was putting in so much effort to eating clean, and I wasn't enjoying anything I was eating, right? Every time I would go out to eat, I'd read through a menu and think of no less than six things that I wanted to eat.
And then I would always get the salad, the grilled chicken, hold the croutons, never breaded chicken, God forbid, right, that was going off the deep end, while I watched everyone else order the stuff that I secretly wanted.
And then would always do the like, "Oh, um, can I have some of your fries? Can I have a bite? Can I have this? Can I have that?" And I thought I was doing the right thing, right? I was choosing the healthier, low-calorie option, right? How else was I gonna lose weight if I didn't order the salad with the grilled chicken? But here's the thing that I was missing all of that time.
I had no clue that constantly forcing myself to eat meals that I could not stand in the name of, quote-unquote, "being good" was backfiring.
And it was what was causing me to, you know, go crazy on a box of cereal at night, or four days later when the weekend hit, end up in, like, a forty-eight-hour cheat weekend instead of a cheat meal, which was inherently problematic in and of itself and existed because I was so focused on eating healthy, right? And it wasn't until I worked with a coach and then really studied behavior change and really became an expert in eating behavior change that I fully understood how damaging and how ineffective that strategy for weight loss was, right? Because not only was I not losing weight, the food noise was so fucking loud that I would finish a meal and do the mental math for how many hours and sometimes even minutes it was until I could eat again, right? So by the time the weekend rolled around, I was so drained from all this.
I had used up all of my energy and all of my attention that the planned, quote, "cheat meal" I had to have some relief would morph into, like I said before, a cheat forty-eight hours.
And then the whole time I'm like, "Shit, okay, okay, I'm gonna start over on Monday.
It's gonna be okay," right? That was how I got myself through that mentally.
Like, one of the most, um, kind of still palpable feelings that I have from when I was, like, in the years of just food obsession was this e- this experience of going to a restaurant and ordering a salad with grilled chicken, hold the croutons, dressing on the side, when I really wanted a club sandwich with fries.
And at the same time as this was happening, I wasn't losing weight, and I was putting in so much effort to eating clean, and I wasn't enjoying anything I was eating, right? Every time I would go out to eat, I'd read through a menu and think of no less than six things that I wanted to eat.
And then I would always get the salad, the grilled chicken, hold the croutons, never breaded chicken, God forbid, right, that was going off the deep end, while I watched everyone else order the stuff that I secretly wanted.
And then would always do the like, "Oh, um, can I have some of your fries? Can I have a bite? Can I have this? Can I have that?" And I thought I was doing the right thing, right? I was choosing the healthier, low-calorie option, right? How else was I gonna lose weight if I didn't order the salad with the grilled chicken? But here's the thing that I was missing all of that time.
I had no clue that constantly forcing myself to eat meals that I could not stand in the name of, quote-unquote, "being good" was backfiring.
And it was what was causing me to, you know, go crazy on a box of cereal at night, or four days later when the weekend hit, end up in, like, a forty-eight-hour cheat weekend instead of a cheat meal, which was inherently problematic in and of itself and existed because I was so focused on eating healthy, right? And it wasn't until I worked with a coach and then really studied behavior change and really became an expert in eating behavior change that I fully understood how damaging and how ineffective that strategy for weight loss was, right? Because not only was I not losing weight, the food noise was so fucking loud that I would finish a meal and do the mental math for how many hours and sometimes even minutes it was until I could eat again, right? So by the time the weekend rolled around, I was so drained from all this.
I had used up all of my energy and all of my attention that the planned, quote, "cheat meal" I had to have some relief would morph into, like I said before, a cheat forty-eight hours.
And then the whole time I'm like, "Shit, okay, okay, I'm gonna start over on Monday.
It's gonna be okay," right? That was how I got myself through that mentally.
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