Aug 24, 2026 · 1 hr 12 min · 14 segments
Why do two people who love each other keep getting trapped in the same arguments? Why does one small disagreement so quickly turn into defensiveness, frustration, and distance? In Part 3 of **The…
Mitchell OsmondHost
In fact, listen, research from Dr. John Gottman, and, uh, you heard me quote these guys a lot, phenomenal, um, thought leaders in our generation.
What does that mean? In other words, many of the things that couples disagree about simply don't disappear, but healthy couples learn how to manage and dialogue about these differences rather than believing every disagreement must be permanently solved.
Because some of you have been thinking, and no doubt, brother, as you are driving or whatever you're doing, you are probably thinking or have thought, I have, "If we could just stop fighting about this, we'd finally have a healthy marriage.
Maybe the better question isn't how do we eliminate conflict? Maybe the better question is, who do I become when conflict arrives? And that, my friend, is where we're getting to today.
Who do I become when conflict arrives? Because it's gonna come, [chuckles] whether you like it or not.
We're gonna set the ground floor for you, okay? Because somewhere along the way, we developed this strange idea that great marriages don't fight.
Think about it, right? Two human beings move into the same house from different childhoods, from different personalities, different communication styles, different expectations, different fears, different wounds, different ideas and ideologies about money, about parenting, about sex, cleanliness, schedules, politics, family, vacations, discipline, faith, work.
You want me to keep going? And they come from entirely different backgrounds and, and, and values.
And somehow, and somehow we're surprised when two people occasionally disagree? [chuckles] Of course.
In fact, listen, research from Dr. John Gottman, and, uh, you heard me quote these guys a lot, phenomenal, um, thought leaders in our generation.
What does that mean? In other words, many of the things that couples disagree about simply don't disappear, but healthy couples learn how to manage and dialogue about these differences rather than believing every disagreement must be permanently solved.
Because some of you have been thinking, and no doubt, brother, as you are driving or whatever you're doing, you are probably thinking or have thought, I have, "If we could just stop fighting about this, we'd finally have a healthy marriage.
Maybe the better question isn't how do we eliminate conflict? Maybe the better question is, who do I become when conflict arrives? And that, my friend, is where we're getting to today.
Who do I become when conflict arrives? Because it's gonna come, [chuckles] whether you like it or not.
We're gonna set the ground floor for you, okay? Because somewhere along the way, we developed this strange idea that great marriages don't fight.
Think about it, right? Two human beings move into the same house from different childhoods, from different personalities, different communication styles, different expectations, different fears, different wounds, different ideas and ideologies about money, about parenting, about sex, cleanliness, schedules, politics, family, vacations, discipline, faith, work.
You want me to keep going? And they come from entirely different backgrounds and, and, and values.
And somehow, and somehow we're surprised when two people occasionally disagree? [chuckles] Of course.
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