Healing Without Closure: How to Take Your Power Back with Najwa Zebian

thank you

and i want to flip the script for a second because yes i'm just thinking what if the people listening today are on the other side of the equation, meaning just elevated their consciousness so much.

They're like, oh my God, I've been a jerk.

I've messed up.

I haven't been my best self.

I've hurt these people.

For them, they might be thinking, wow, I want to receive the closure by having the person accept my apology.

But that's not really our business.

But something you could do, and I'd love to know what you think about it, is if you have this level of awareness, you could reach out and just say how you feel with no expectation of them entangling or even open up a conversation.

But if you're genuinely sorry, you could reach out, but don't have an expectation that it's going to lead to anything else.

But if someone is having a breakthrough listening to you right now on the other side of it,

we

recommend.

Exactly what you just said, which is if you really are sorry, go ahead and apologize and express to the person that you hurt exactly what your remorse feels like and what you would have done differently and what you know they deserve.

And when I think of the moments when I was deeply hurt by people, the thing that hurt me the most was you knew... based on so many stories I told you, how I would experience this one thing that you're doing to me, yet you continue to put me through it, knowing that I was feeling that way.

So if the person's on the other side, acknowledge to the person that you hurt, how you know they must have felt in the moment when you hurt them.

Because when you're able to let them know that you see that pain and that you're genuinely sorry and remorseful for what you did that really makes a difference for the person that you hurt and like you said don't have any expectation that they're going to forgive you don't have any expectation that they're going to allow you back into their life and if they do you have to let your apology work in action It can't just be, I think a lot of the times people think, well, I apologized and I told you I'll never do those things again.

So why can't you just trust me again? And it's like, well, we had this castle of trust built and you set it on fire.

Now we need to build from the ground up.

So if I make you feel like I don't trust you as we're trying to rebuild the that's very valid because you're the one who gave me a reason to not trust you as easily as I did in the past.

And I'll tell you, I've received quite a few messages from angry people saying, you're the reason my ex won't get back with me.

Like they keep sharing your work.

They keep telling me, read this, read that.

And you know, thank you for ruining my relationship.

And in my mind, I'm like, I'm not the one who ruined your relationship.