06. Unsolicited Dating Advice from Two Single People, Part Two, with Rachel Levine

I want to circle back because we stopped in the middle of that dating conversation, which I feel like we did a great job.

And, um, I want to just cross any T's that we didn't get to.

What was the last part we were talking about?

Well, I had mentioned...

You were talking about your intuition and feeling like how quickly you know.

Oh.

And this is what I wanted to say to you.

Okay, tell me.

Okay, it's good because we're bridging the two podcasts.

We need the puzzle piece to fit them together.

You mentioned the word picky.

And I think this is like a very...

I don't know.

It's such an easy way to dismiss someone's discernment.

And I think it's used very commonly.

And I'm sure it's been used about me behind my back of like, well, he's really picky.

And I'm like, I just also know.

Like, it's the most negative way of framing it, I think.

Because if you know certain things that won't work for you, you're not going to get closer to finding the person you want by pretending that that's not true.

Like, I've learned through experience that X, Y, and Z isn't working.

And I actually feel... just even recently letting myself own much more than I had.

Like I'd always been wanting a relationship, but I think that subtly I was believing that, well, it's probably not going to happen or I can't have it in this, in the way that I want it.

Like not even consciously saying that to myself, but just because of being, My experiences, believing that.

And so putting myself out there in a way where I was accepting something that I wasn't really even wanting, like the sort of more casual stuff or whatever, just like if I'm not leading with what I actually want, I'm just doing us both a disservice.

And.