Anxiety and Avoidance Explained | EP 350

People will often ask, "But if I try to ignore my scary thoughts, my intrusive thoughts, my anxiety sensations, my symptoms, the things that bother me, isn't that just avoidance?" And especially if you are a generalized anxiety disorder sufferer and you are an overthinker or an over-worrier, people will often say, "Yeah, but if I try to not solve all of those worries, aren't I just ignoring the problem?" And the answer is no.

One of the things that is critically important in our context is that we recognize the difference between content and process.

I've talked about this on this podcast.

Josh and I talk about it in Disordered.

I've written about it.

When we look at the actual content of your intrusive thoughts or your scary thoughts or your worries, maybe you have intrusive thoughts about sexual identity or self-harm or harming others, or maybe you have health anxiety and your thoughts are always about your health, or maybe your anxiety presents a little bit more somatically and you are scared of the physical sensations that come along with anxiety and fear.

Whatever it happens to be, it doesn't really matter.

If you're a GAD person and you find yourself constantly worrying and over-planning and overthinking about specific real things in life, you might be tempted to say, "If I learn to not engage with those triggers, my symptoms, my thoughts, my emotions," whatever makes you uncomfortable, "I'm ignoring the pr- I'm ignoring the problem.

That's avoidance, and that's the problem, right?" No.

That's the content of your anxiety, is the, is the subject itself.

It is the symptoms.

It's the places that trigger the symptoms.

It's the content of the thoughts.

It's the themes of your OCD.

It's whatever particular disease your health anxiety is latched onto right now.

It's whatever worry your GAD has decided is most important today.

The process that we care about, and this tells us where avoidance is, is that those thoughts, those scary intrusive thoughts or intrusive images, those seemingly real-life worries, those physical sensations that seem unhandleable, those really powerful emotions, mainly fear, that make you feel like you're going to snap at any moment, those just create a feeling of fear or discomfort.

The problem is that.

The process is that these internal experiences create a more important internal experience that we will call distress or discomfort.

It will be fear, anxiety, uncertainty, feelings of vulnerability, not knowing, feeling like you're about to lose it.

It's uncomfortable.

You are trying to avoid the discomfort, so it doesn't really matter what the trigger for that discomfort is.

Now, I understand that that might sound ridiculous.

If you have OCD, or let's say you have relationship OCD, and your OCD has latched onto, you know, the strength of your intimate relationships or your romantic or family relationships, you're going to say, "What do you mean it doesn't matter? Of course, it matters." If you have a health anxiety, you're going to say, "What do you mean health doesn't matter? The, my health or the health of my loved ones is critically important.

Of course, it matters." If you are struggling with somatic symptoms like air hunger or, you know, rapid heartbeat, or maybe you're feeling depersonalized, you're going to say, "Of course, that matters, 'cause it feels like I'm dying or something is wrong with me and I need immediate help." But that's not really the point.

People will often ask, "But if I try to ignore my scary thoughts, my intrusive thoughts, my anxiety sensations, my symptoms, the things that bother me, isn't that just avoidance?" And especially if you are a generalized anxiety disorder sufferer and you are an overthinker or an over-worrier, people will often say, "Yeah, but if I try to not solve all of those worries, aren't I just ignoring the problem?" And the answer is no.

One of the things that is critically important in our context is that we recognize the difference between content and process.

I've talked about this on this podcast.

Josh and I talk about it in Disordered.

I've written about it.

When we look at the actual content of your intrusive thoughts or your scary thoughts or your worries, maybe you have intrusive thoughts about sexual identity or self-harm or harming others, or maybe you have health anxiety and your thoughts are always about your health, or maybe your anxiety presents a little bit more somatically and you are scared of the physical sensations that come along with anxiety and fear.

Whatever it happens to be, it doesn't really matter.

If you're a GAD person and you find yourself constantly worrying and over-planning and overthinking about specific real things in life, you might be tempted to say, "If I learn to not engage with those triggers, my symptoms, my thoughts, my emotions," whatever makes you uncomfortable, "I'm ignoring the pr- I'm ignoring the problem.

That's avoidance, and that's the problem, right?" No.

That's the content of your anxiety, is the, is the subject itself.

It is the symptoms.

It's the places that trigger the symptoms.

It's the content of the thoughts.

It's the themes of your OCD.

It's whatever particular disease your health anxiety is latched onto right now.

It's whatever worry your GAD has decided is most important today.

The process that we care about, and this tells us where avoidance is, is that those thoughts, those scary intrusive thoughts or intrusive images, those seemingly real-life worries, those physical sensations that seem unhandleable, those really powerful emotions, mainly fear, that make you feel like you're going to snap at any moment, those just create a feeling of fear or discomfort.

The problem is that.

The process is that these internal experiences create a more important internal experience that we will call distress or discomfort.

It will be fear, anxiety, uncertainty, feelings of vulnerability, not knowing, feeling like you're about to lose it.

It's uncomfortable.

You are trying to avoid the discomfort, so it doesn't really matter what the trigger for that discomfort is.

Now, I understand that that might sound ridiculous.

If you have OCD, or let's say you have relationship OCD, and your OCD has latched onto, you know, the strength of your intimate relationships or your romantic or family relationships, you're going to say, "What do you mean it doesn't matter? Of course, it matters." If you have a health anxiety, you're going to say, "What do you mean health doesn't matter? The, my health or the health of my loved ones is critically important.

Of course, it matters." If you are struggling with somatic symptoms like air hunger or, you know, rapid heartbeat, or maybe you're feeling depersonalized, you're going to say, "Of course, that matters, 'cause it feels like I'm dying or something is wrong with me and I need immediate help." But that's not really the point.