EP 3:36 Chemsex Recovery: Reasons vs. Excuses

Send us Fan Mail Supplemental Study Guide: https://www.recoveryalchemy.org/newsletters/blog/posts/reasons In this solo episode of The AfterMeth Podcast, Dallas Bragg starts with two voice notes that landed back to back during one of his daily walks. Two clients, the same return to use, the same broken commitment, even the same specific oversight — an old user buddy still on Snapchat. But the men describing it sounded like they lived in different universes. The first didn't flinch: he laid out what he'd done right, named the gap he'd missed, and asked how he could show up differently next time. No misery, no defensiveness, just curiosity. He treated the use as a data point rather than a moral failure. The second took a week to disclose it, buried other uses he'd later come clean about, and reached for the familiar refrain — you know how it is, I always do this, I'm just not built for follow-through. One handed Dallas a reason. The other handed him an excuse. The episode maps that distinction and why it decides the direction of a recovery. Reasons come from open curiosity and healthy guilt, which points at a behavior you can turn over in your hands and change. Excuses come from closed condemnation and shame, which says *I am bad* rather than *I did something bad* — and Dallas is careful to name the harder-to-spot version, the excuse that grabs too much responsibility. "Of course I messed up, I always mess up" sounds like ownership but is actually a collapse into identity, and identity makes the next excuse effortless while the excuse confirms the identity, around and around. Breaking the loop means stepping into what he calls the compassionate observer: the part of you that watches your own behavior without excusing or condemning it, asking why this happened rather than whose fault it is. He closes with a three-part check for the moment an explanation starts forming — notice the emotional state (open and willing, or tight and restricted), check the language (*I did this* leaves room, *I always do this* locks the door), and feel where it lands in the body, which knows the difference long before the mind does. A supplemental study guide accompanies the episode, with the link in the show notes. The AfterMeth: Join our Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theaftermeth/ Dallas Bragg Subscribe to our weekly newsletter: https://www.drdallasbragg.com/newsletters/blog Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drdallasbragg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdallasbragg/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drdallasbragg YouTube: The Aftermeth Podcast X: https://twitter.com/Drdallasbragg Free online course to End the Relapse Cycle: https://www.drdallasbragg.com/offers/e7c2Eo22/checkout Meth-Free Blueprint EBOOK: https://www.drdallasbragg.com/offers/o8qFhK5i/checkout