Jul 28, 2026 · 22 min · 9 segments
Comparison is something we all do—but in today's world of social media and constant comparison, it can quietly rob us of our joy, gratitude, and confidence. In this episode of The Aesthetic Doctor…
Judith BorgerHost
And then in this sort of comparison, your perspective, your abundance, your lack, and it has an impact on your gratitude and happiness and how you see it so today i wanted to talk about comparison and let's talk about sort of the science of comparison first and the first thing is like the foundational work on comparison which is by somebody called leon festinger who published social comparison theory in 1954 which is a long time ago over 70 years ago.
And basically, you know, he's saying that humans determine their own worth by comparing themselves to others.
So, you know, obviously if you do something called upward comparison, meaning comparing yourself to somebody better, like my son was comparing himself to his sister who had like, you know, $100,000 more, that can create envy, inadequacy, anxiety.
But then you could also compare yourself to somebody worse or downward comparison.
and of course there's two things that can happen here right it can either increase gratitude because you have so much more than they have but then sometimes you can feel like very complacent with that too or of course you know if you're not a nice person you can be gleeful but you know basically the The point of the social comparison theory is really that comparison itself isn't the problem.
The direction of the comparison and the direction of the comparison and the interpretation determine whether it becomes motivation or misery.
Like, you know, like the upward comparison when you can say, oh, wow, you know, this is possible for me.
I can be inspired to try harder to build a bigger business, to do more for the world.
If it's like, oh, I feel so bad about myself because I tried so hard and they have more than me.
That's the problem, because in both examples, let's say I'm comparing myself to somebody who has, let's say, built a bigger business than mine.
And I think we see that a lot, right? That you need to be surrounded by people that show you what's possible.
However, if it becomes a keeping up with the Joneses because now I feel inadequate and I either pretend or I lie or I give up or I kind of make purchases to put myself more in debt so it can look like I'm as successful and have the same kind of car and all of that stuff, then it becomes like misery versus motivation.
So again, comparison isn't the problem itself, it's the direction and the interpretation that determines whether it becomes motivation and misery.
And then in this sort of comparison, your perspective, your abundance, your lack, and it has an impact on your gratitude and happiness and how you see it so today i wanted to talk about comparison and let's talk about sort of the science of comparison first and the first thing is like the foundational work on comparison which is by somebody called leon festinger who published social comparison theory in 1954 which is a long time ago over 70 years ago.
And basically, you know, he's saying that humans determine their own worth by comparing themselves to others.
So, you know, obviously if you do something called upward comparison, meaning comparing yourself to somebody better, like my son was comparing himself to his sister who had like, you know, $100,000 more, that can create envy, inadequacy, anxiety.
But then you could also compare yourself to somebody worse or downward comparison.
and of course there's two things that can happen here right it can either increase gratitude because you have so much more than they have but then sometimes you can feel like very complacent with that too or of course you know if you're not a nice person you can be gleeful but you know basically the The point of the social comparison theory is really that comparison itself isn't the problem.
The direction of the comparison and the direction of the comparison and the interpretation determine whether it becomes motivation or misery.
Like, you know, like the upward comparison when you can say, oh, wow, you know, this is possible for me.
I can be inspired to try harder to build a bigger business, to do more for the world.
If it's like, oh, I feel so bad about myself because I tried so hard and they have more than me.
That's the problem, because in both examples, let's say I'm comparing myself to somebody who has, let's say, built a bigger business than mine.
And I think we see that a lot, right? That you need to be surrounded by people that show you what's possible.
However, if it becomes a keeping up with the Joneses because now I feel inadequate and I either pretend or I lie or I give up or I kind of make purchases to put myself more in debt so it can look like I'm as successful and have the same kind of car and all of that stuff, then it becomes like misery versus motivation.
So again, comparison isn't the problem itself, it's the direction and the interpretation that determines whether it becomes motivation and misery.
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