#180: You’re Doing Dating Wrong (Here’s Why)

Number one, it's your mindset, how you show up, your identity, your frame, your beliefs about dating, about yourself, about women.

It's just your paradigm.

And that's the first thing, your mindset, your paradigm, your frame, right? That's the first aspect.

Now, the second part of dating is meeting women.

You need to meet women somehow, whether from real life, from events, from nightlife, from cold approach, from online, from social circle, from apps.

It doesn't matter where, but you need to meet women.

That's part two.

Part three, you need to set dates.

You need to plan and schedule dates with these women.

That's part three.

Now, part four is keeping it going, like retaining, sustaining things, scheduling a second date, a third day, doing activities, going to events, etc.

Now, most guys, they struggle because they try to fix all four at once.

but there's actually a sequence to this.

There's an ascending order to all these different steps.

So as I said, part one is mindset, it's your frame.

So one of the most important exercise that I give my clients to fix their mindset is what I call the know thyself mission.

Aristotle said thousands of years ago, Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.

And once you start answering some very deep questions about yourself, that's when you can really have a deep knowing of what you stand for, who you want to become, what kind of desires you have, and what kind of people align with those desires and with who you want to become.

And it all starts from there because you can't really qualify women or disqualify women if you don't have a guideline, if you don't have a vision for who you want to be, who you want to become, like the type of people that should be aligned with that and shouldn't.

So this gives you a lot of power.

Once you have a strong frame and you have a strong character and you know what you stand for and you know your values, all of that, then everything is going to shift in a way where everything is going to get clearer and you're going to know exactly what kind of women are the right fit and what kind of women are the wrong fit.

And I think when it comes to dating, effective communication is not about... being liked by everybody it's about delighting the right people and alienating the wrong people it's about having some women saying hell yes to you and having some women saying no i'll never date this guy him right it's about being polarizing like that And if you're not polarizing like that, and you try to appeal to every woman, and you try to be a nice guy with everyone, then you appeal to no one.

And that's why a lot of guys get stuck in this nice guy syndrome, this nice guy vibe, where they don't have strong values, they don't know exactly what they stand for, they're not polarizing, they're just yes men, they pander to every woman they talk to, and it's not attractive.

right so you first need to fix your frame fix your identity fix your values exactly what kind of man do i want to become who am i who am i becoming and understand what kind of woman you're pursuing whether short term long term and then disqualify the others and that's the mindset you should have and the mindset you should have is that also you're the prize Like if you're a man right now, working on yourself, making money, developing yourself, growing physically, mentally, spiritually, etc.

Men, you have this upward spiral in your life and you're moving towards the right direction.