Happy Again with Mr. Larrie

I was so captivated by the idea you just shared of proving yourself to yourself because there are often sometimes we or sometimes I can say, how about myself? I mean, I'm not so prone to this, but there is one might imagine that there are a lot of haters and doubters and people who, you know, don't believe in you or whatever.

And, you know, I'll show them.

I'll shut them up.

I'll show them what I made up.

And it seems like you have kind of sidestepped that I'll show them and transformed it into I'll show me.

Is that accurate? Have you ever been someone who was like judging themselves by somebody else's standard or feeling this kind of external pressure to present yourself differently?

That's what you just said gave me chills, actually, because like I don't think I've ever been able to express what that is, that relationship I have with myself in terms of challenges.

I have looked at other people my whole life as an example of what success can be, you know, growing up poor, growing up disenfranchised and without success.

oftentimes the things that we needed, you know, I see that person over there has it.

Why don't I have it? Maybe I'm missing something.

Maybe I'm not trying hard enough.

Maybe I'm not working hard enough.

So I think it's sort of stemmed from a place of not knowing that the reasons are not me.

It's the system and the place that I'm in.

Yes.

But what happened sort of as a side effect was that it sort of instilled in me this drive that, um, looks first at my own accomplishments and my own achievements and then says, how can I do better or more or bigger or more truthful, more honest to myself the next time? You know, because whoever is doing whatever over there, I can't control that.

I can't affect that necessarily.

That's right.

And I could be bitter about it, but after 40 years, like it's just, it's not very productive.

No, no, no. I'd rather look back at my own history and say, you know, what can I do moving forward?

And I think that's something that's incredibly powerful about what it means to have a creative life.

that also helps you establish a certain degree of self-sovereignty.

Something that allows you to say, this is what I will stand for.

Here are my boundaries and rules.

Here are the things that I need and I'll provide them in order to move forward.