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i wonder then if with me on mute The three of you might just say something about what's your experience of being midlife queer people at the moment? And maybe Saba, you go first and then Adam and then Alexis, and then I can mute myself.

I think right now, being midlife and on the cusp of almost turning 55, which I think is very exciting, I think exhaustion combined with excitement.

So I'm absolutely exhausted and shattered and I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Because apart from the role that I do anyway in community, I do have a lot of people speaking to me at the moment, which, you know, I very happily welcome that, you know, with open arms.

But sometimes you kind of want to... kind of get get off the world and have a little break have a little pause I don't want to run away and hide so um there's that side of it I think aside from that the excitement is that I'm also unapologetically me and that's a bit that I love I absolutely love where I've got to that point in life now where you know if I don't want to do something I will say no I don't hesitate I It's not because I'm letting someone down.

It's because I'm just not able to do something.

And I think there's such a difference between the two things.

And once you can get your head around it, you know, it's about safeguarding my own well-being.

The only thing I am aware of is that I've become very desensitized to certain things.

And I did have a meeting where someone called me up afterwards and said, I just wanted to do a welfare check with you because that was a really hard meeting.

And I said, really? and we were talking about it and they was like you're not aware of what you do are you So I think one of the probably downsides of getting older is that you become so accustomed to doing what you're doing, especially when you're into advocacy and activism, that you can almost do it with your eyes closed.

But sometimes it's at the detriment of your well-being.

But yeah, sorry, that's a very long answer.

But, you know, I embrace it.

I mean, I would not want to go back to my 20s, 30s, 40s.

potentially maybe mid 40s but i loved where i'm at in life and i wouldn't change it um and i'm very happy to be called an elder and i expect to be respected as an elder

i love that tell them

tell

them that was i i i'm i'm i very much relate to what what's up just said um I am I am I'm in I'm in my my getting to late 40s now and I'm already feeling the exhaustion aspect of it.

But at the same time, it's I know myself now more deeply than I've ever known myself before ever.

And because of that, I know I am able to accomplish more.

It's it's the the my I think my my emotional capacity has has grown to handle more things.

But my my energy is having a hard time keeping up with it.

So it's it's the the.

the understanding that, you know, that, that energy is, is, is finite.