Why Your Wife STOPPED Wanting Sex ft. Stephanie Ganowski, Sexologist | EP 50

thing.

I'm interested in talking about the things that most people won't talk about because I think if we can't talk about things, then there's a little bit of bullshit around.

We need to actually dispel that.

We just had a pre-conversation and I have that with almost everyone we talk about because we've got to work out what we actually want to talk about.

Something that really struck me about what you do is at the core of what you do is is understanding yourself, right, for men.

And I think that's something where we both align on.

And understanding yourself.

Where does understanding yourself come into play when it's talking about sex? And why is it important?

It's so important when it comes to sex because if you don't understand your own body, if you don't understand... your needs, your own desires, you're going to feel a lot less comfortable communicating about that topic with someone else.

You know, even your partner, because it's like, oh, I don't even know what's going on with me.

Like, what would I even ask? Right? Or like, so...

What I encourage men to do is pay more attention, especially during masturbation, to sexually understand themselves.

Take away the porn.

You know, I'm not totally against porn, but I always say, like, there should be times when you're not relying on that, right? So that you can understand, okay, what comes to my mind when I get most turned on? Like, do I ever take a moment to really think, like...

what thought about my partner really gets me going the most and what excites me most sexually about being with her and what's something that like I would like to try with her and just kind of fantasizing and getting curious.

So there's that mental part of it with the fantasy.

And then I also encourage guys to touch themselves differently, too, because you get in a habit of doing it the same way for years, maybe.

And especially if you're dealing with issues like premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction or delayed ejaculation, it's most likely like you're keeping the problem alive by how you're thinking and how you're touching, you know? So what I tell them is like, switch up the touch.

Let's see what kind of touch gets you more aroused.

Like some guys pay, if they pay more attention to the head, for instance, they may get aroused faster and they never realize that because they're so used to just going fast and you know, doing it one way.

So I'll say, like, slow down, speed up, hit, like, try this angle, try this angle, try to play music during it.

See what comes of, you know, comes up for you.

Try to breathe heavier, maybe even grunt.

Like, see if that helps your arousal.

And what guys can find when they understand their body is, oh, wow, when I touch myself like this, I actually get more aroused.