Ep:(190) A Vulnerable Episode From Me to You

And also, something else that I've just been very honest or tried to be transparent with you guys on the podcast and on social media is that in the midst of these really great things that are happening, these beautiful things, things that I felt like were God things, things that God told me to do, I'm also walking through one of the most painful seasons of my life.

And it's just been so strange because it's like these beautiful things are happening while also these really devastating things are happening, and they're both coexisting in my heart and in my life at the same time.

I don't know if you guys saw, I did a post on Instagram the other week.

I was on my way to the airport to speak at a women's conference, and as I'm, like, literally leaving, or I'm trying to ...

I've just landed from my one flight, trying to make my connection, and as I'm rushing through the airport in Chicago, I just started to cry, and I couldn't stop.

I just burst into tears, was crying, and I'm like, you know when you're trying, when you're like, "Just pull it together," like, "Just stop crying," but you can't? So that was me in the airport, and I just looked probably like such a weirdo, 'cause I'm by myself as well.

And then when I got to my gate, I'm like, "Okay, I'm gonna go and, go to the bathroom to, like, sort myself out." And it was like, "We are boarding in five minutes." And I'm like, "I don't have time.

I don't have time." So I just took my moment and I just cried.

I just cried at gate B3.

And you can check out the post on Instagram.

It's literally just like, you know when people take their notes and they just write and then they post that? That's what it looks like.

So it doesn't look branded or anything like that.

It's just what God's showing me and what He's teaching me.

But what I kind of posted about that, what I wanna talk about on the podcast, which I feel like I'm taking a very long time to get to my point, is how hard it is when you're going through grief and a hard time.

I mean, it is really devastating.

Sometimes all that you wanna do is just crawl into a ball and stay in the corner or crawl into a hole and just stay there, but you have to keep showing up.

We can't sometimes take a sabbatical or take time off.

Like, life moves on.

It's not friendly to people that are experiencing grief.

But sometimes we can just take a moment, right? We can allow ourselves to cry.

We can allow ourselves in the moment to feel the feels, right? And, like, let that moment be released instead of holding onto it and stuffing it down, and that's something that I'm trying to do in this season.

And I even shared a story.

There was a lady, she was so bright and such a light to so many people, and I'd found out she had lost her husband a year prior with three girls at home, and I just couldn't believe how joyful she was showing up every day.

I mean, she taught these, like, dance classes, and she was so joyful.

And when I asked her, like, "How are you showing up so joyful every day?" She said, "When I, when I need to cry, I allow myself to cry." And that just really spoke to me and was just to me a, a lesson on when you wanna laugh and you-- because, you know, you've just gotten the best news ever, laugh.