Ep:(182) How to Create Content from Inspiration Not Desperation

But I remember several years ago when I was in college, I remember just feeling so overwhelmed, and I had a lot to do.

I had a paper to write.

I had a test to study for.

I just, I remember walking home just feeling like, "Oh, my gosh, I, I literally need to get so much stuff done." And on top of that, talking to God about it and feeling a little sheepish because I'm like, "And I have not, like, spent time with you today, God.

I haven't been in the word.

I haven't been praying or anything." And so I was feeling Christian guilt.

Have you ever felt Christian guilt where you feel like you're supposed to be spending time with God but you haven't, and, you know, you feel bad about it? Well, that was what I was feeling on top of feeling stressed.

And so I remember just kind of, like, in this place, feeling that way, kind of walking with my shoulders shrunk and my head down and just, like, dreading the rest of my day, and talking to God about it.

And I just remember the Holy Spirit coming in so gently and so close and saying to me, "Melissa, I'll stay up and do your homework with you.

I'll write your paper with you.

I'll help you study for your exam." And I, and I just remember having this, like, light bulb moment, being like, "Oh, my gosh.

God, you care.

[laughs] You care.

You care about my life, but also, like, I can bring you into this part of my life.

Like, I don't, I don't have to compartmentalize you.

You actually wanna be involved in every area of my life." And I, I literally think I shed a tear.

I shed a tear because I, I kind of realized how I was compartmentalizing my walk with God and basically, um, treating Him more of like a checkbox on my to-do list, rather than having a personal relationship with Jesus.

And it was really this mindset shift that I had in that moment.

And I remember almost, like, going home, opening up my textbook, being like, "Okay, God, this is what I'm doing tonight.

You said you'd do this with me, so, Holy Spirit, help me." And I remember that night, I mean, I still had to get my stuff done, but I remember feeling the closeness of God, the kindness of God to me, and I just remember feeling like, "This isn't that bad." Like, the, the stress, the overwhelm, it all left in that moment.

And, and I just really remember it helped me that night, but it also showed me not just, like, God didn't just help me that night, but He showed me His ways.

And one of the ways of God is that He does not, God does not want to be a check mark on your to-do list.

He didn't die to be a part of your to-do list.

He died for a personal relationship with you.

And I started to realize that I needed to invite Him into every area of my life.